let the rain down pour

[Indigo Wintertrap]

[ - Reserved for Ash Firestar - ]

The sun filtered through the glass door and into the sitting room where a small orange tabby lay sleeping on a warm beige carpet, eyelids closed in a peaceful slumber. As the sun caught her, Indigo half-opened her eyes, squinting in confusion as she tried to figure out where she was. Ah yes. Mrs. Brooks's house. She gave a little yawn and rose to her feet - it was becoming increasingly easier to suspend most of her weight on only three of her paws. Of course, as the injured one started to heal, she'd need to start getting used to it again. But that would take a few days more. Indigo limped over to the glass door and meowed. And just like that, Mrs. Brooks appeared and slid it open for her, murmuring hello and petting her softly. Indigo had decided that she liked Mrs. Brooks. It was certainly nice of the lady to let her outside whenever she wanted instead of being paranoid that she would run away and injure herself more - although eventually, she would be leaving, Indigo had a better sense of timing than that. Truthfully, she didn't mind living with the old lady. She wouldn't want to permanently - she did like her life on the streets, after all - but Indigo had never held as much prejudice towards humans as some did.

Therefore there was really only one reason that Indigo left the house as often as she did. "Ash?" she meowed as she descended down the steps of the deck into the backyard. He was usually fairly nearby though he didn't spend much time inside the house. But that was alright with her. Ash was far more of a street cat than she was. And whenever she needed to see him, he was there. As long as that comfort was there, Indigo couldn't help but feel a little bit better. Which made what she needed to say so much harder. She frowned, worry creasing her features. Maybe she didn't need to say anything. They were pretty much a couple now. She should just let things go as they were and leave them both the better for it. But... were they really both so much the better for it? She sighed. She didn't want anymore hurt and pain. Not on her behalf. Which was exactly why she had come to her decision. She wanted to be with Ash. She would be with Ash. She just hoped he could understand why she needed this.

"Are you awake yet?" she called out with a bit of a giggle. Just because she'd just woken up, she reminded herself, it didn't mean it was early for everyone. Or maybe Ash was out hunting or something, grown tired of the tin of kitty food Mrs. Brooks has been leaving out for him. Having tasted mouse, Indigo found the pet stuff a bit dull but it was certainly yummy as far as pet food went. And it was the thought that counted and Mrs. Brooks was certainly going out of her way to be thoughtful. Here was proof that not all humans were such horrible things after all. Indigo glanced at the bandages wound around her ribcage. Apparently she had broken a rib. More than one. It wasn't such a big deal; it had stopped hurting like mad every single second. And for that she was grateful. She just hoped she could get the darn bandages off soon and head back to the streets. To her home even if she didn't really have one. She'd miss Mrs. Brooks a bit but she could always visit. Besides, she belonged on the streets now. With Ash. She gulped.

OOC: I figured we'd say that a few days, maybe a week, has passed since the old lady brought Indigo home and Ash has been hanging around so he can be with Indigo but maybe not acting as much like a pet as Indigo is. I also figured that they've pretty much been acting like a couple or whatever since now they both know they both have feelings for each other but they aren't officially mates or whatever. That okay?

[Ash Firestar]

Ash was stretched out across the top of the fence that surrounded Mrs. Brookes backyard. Why did they have fences? Certainly not to keep anything in, even a retarded dog could get out of one of these poorly guarded areas. Or did they have fences to keep stuff out? No, that wouldn't work either, the animals could get back in just how they got out in the first place. He sighed, there was no end to the mysteries of the humans.

The grey tom was always up before most cats. He was weird in the fact that he liked to watch the sun rise, symbolizing a new day. He loved to see the colors filter in through the trees and into the sky. When he was up this early, all he could do was think. He thought about Indigo all the time. Especially now that she was spending time inside a home, he understood the reasons why she had to stay inside. She absolutely had to because her injuries wouldn't heal as fast if she was outside twentyfour seven. But she wanted to stay inside a bit, and he respected that. Ash couldn't stand being inside. He felt trapped, even though he wasn't really, because Mrs. Brookes would let you outside whenever you wished. But still, he couldn't stand being surrounded by four walls. He shuddered at the fact that he couldn't be in there with the love of his life. He sighed and went over to the food bowl to eat.

He was suprized that he felt too lazy to hunt. The cat food was pretty good, but not as delicious as fresh kill. He sighed and started to fill his stomache with the factory-made excuse for food. When he was finished, he ran back across the yard and jumped up on to the fence and leaped to the alley-way behind it. He was hoping to explore the town when he heard Indigo's voice that called him back over. He leaped up on the fence, "Yup, been up since dawn sweety."

[Indigo Wintertrap]

Indigo felt her stomach flutter as she Ash appeared on the top of the fence and she gave a little grin. "An early riser, eh? My, you're just full of secrets," she teased. She was so grateful to Ash. She still couldn't believe how he'd managed to get the lady to come and heal her and now had stuck around and about so he could spend time with her. He'd even been in the house a few times. He was such a sweetheart. He deserved... No, she wasn't going to start that up again. He deserved whoever he wanted and, crazily enough, that seemed to be her. And she wasn't going to argue it with him. Not when she got so much pleasure just out of being with him. Being with Ash these past few days made her realize that she would never have been happy with Stellar. She'd loved him in a way maybe but he'd been more of a crush, first love of the streets. Ash was... everything she'd ever wanted. And they would spend the rest of their lives happily together. Indigo just needed to do something first. Which brought her to where she was now.

"You gonna come down here or make me jump up there with my injuries," she teased, her golden eyes sparkling mischievously; she knew that Ash would never ever let her risk hurting herself. He was so protective. In a good way, though. Of course a good way. He was the perfect cat for her and with Indigo's high standards he'd have to be everything in a good way. She giggled quietly. It was strange to think that she had a mate now... Well, not technically but pretty much. She was young and couldn't believe she could have possibly been ready. But they'd do this together. She wasn't going to run off anymore. Well - her stomach lurched unpleasantly - not really. But that wasn't important.

What was important was that with Ash, it was for real. Being Stellar's mate - for all of two minutes - had been a joke. And Indigo had been wrong to be mad at him for not wanting to fight for her. She knew now that Stellar would have gladly done so. Only... he'd seen what Indigo herself hadn't realized. She hadn't wanted him to fight for her. She'd wanted Ash. He hadn't abandoned her or given up easily - he'd politely stepped out of the way when he'd realized the situation so that Indigo could be with the cat she truly loved. The realization had made Indigo feel sorry. She wanted to find Stellar and apologize... at least see if they could still be friends. She respected him so much for what he had done and, in a way, it made her love him even more. But that was foolish. She loved Ash. And her love for Ash overcame her love for Stellar. She did love him but it wasn't enough. And it would never be enough.

[Ash Firestar]

Ash chuckled softly, "There's waaayy more where that came from, honey!" He jumped down from the fence. His blue orbs glittered with playfulness. "No, Indigo, I'm going to make you jump up there and hurt yourself more!" He said sarcastically. He smiled and looked deeply at Indigo's slender frame and thought of the other tom that he hadn't truely aquainted (sp?). He wondered what was going on in his head at that moment. Stellar really seemed nice and considerate, why didn't Stellar fight? Maybe it was because he cared to much and only wanted the best for Indigo, which was very sweet. He licked her cheek tenderly, he very much wanted to ask about him, but it might hurt Indigo some, and he could only try to keep her happy for as long as possible.

He wondered what had Indigo called him for this beautiful summer morning for? Though, she had always called for him, but not this early in the day, she often asked for him after lunch and it was maybe an hour before her lunch time. He had noticed last week that 'the crazy cat-lady' was very organized and fed them at almost exactly the same time every single day. Why was she awake? She usually awakened thirty minutes before lunch. Everything the humans and pets did was on a tight schedule, he couldn't stand being this organized. He had to spice up life a little every now and then. But he didn't let it bother him. He looked at her in a confused way, "Indigo, what is it? Did you want to tell me something?" He asked kindly, in the most casual voice possible. He was worried something might be wrong...

[Indigo Wintertrap]

Indigo giggled. "Oh really?" she inquired, arching one brow in curiosity. she was just so... happy! Oh, it was hard to explain. She felt as if her chest was filled with helium and she was this great big, happy balloon, just soaring along. She wanted to leap up and dance but instead contented herself with tearing the grass up at her paws in a little skip. Yes, she was most definitely crazy. Turning back to Ash, she stuck her tongue out jokingly. "Meanie," she teased with a wicked little grin. She knew he was being sarcastic. Even if she did have trouble identifying the emotion at times. But she was sidetracking herself, again. Focus on Ash, she reminded herself, your amazing, lovely Ash.

But that just started the guilty feelings all over again.

No. There was no reason for her to feel guilty. She loved Ash and she wasn't doing anything wrong. It was for the best for both of them - and not in that crappy, fake way. But she needed to talk to him. It was why she'd woken up so early, she'd been unable to sleep last time after deciding that this morning would be the ideal time to have the little chat she'd been planning for the past day or two. It won't change anything, she assured herself. It'll make things better. And that's what you want, isn't it? Well, of course, it wasn't like she could disagree with her subconscious and say no, she wanted things worse. Of course, she also couldn't just because her subconscious was not another cat and talking to yourself or hearing voices was bad.

Or so they said.

"Yeah," she replied to his question, surprised that he'd realized but determined not to let her throw her. After all, it's not like she'd been hiding it that well. Even just calling him so early was a sign that something was up. "Ash..." she started, then bit her tongue, trying to remember how she'd phrased the conversation in her head last night. Her part at least. Remembering what she'd made up as her responses from him wouldn't help her right now - it wasn't like she could offer him the words to say. "I think I need to leave." She winced. That was not a good way to start. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

She gave a nervous little laugh. "Sorry, I don't mean... Let me start over. Being with you here is wonderful and it's made me realize... I want this. I want to be with you. I want to be a part of your life and I want you to be a part of mine. For the rest of it. I love you, Ash, and this life we've been living is amazing. I want it, it just feels so right." She paused. "And we will have it. I promise you that." Smiling softly, she flicked his nose with her tail-tip gently. "But I can't just forget about what happened... at the chicken coop. Because it did happen, there's no erasing that. And it scares me that I was gone so deep. I don't want that to happen again.

"So what I'm trying to say is that I think I need to leave for a little bit and clear my head. I want to be with you and I will be with you but I'm young and I need to figure myself out first. Not for long. I just want to head out by myself, be alone and enjoy the streets by myself, for a little while. Maybe a month, tops. And then when I've figure out my screwed up self so she's no longer so screwed up -" Here, she cracked a smile. " - Then I'll be back and we can be together like this every day. It's not fair to either of us to just think that we can start up like this as if nothing happened. I want to do this, Ash, but I want to do this right. And that means gradually. So it'll work."

Indigo offered up a small smile, unsure of what Ash's reaction to her long speech there would be. Gently, she reached out and nuzzled his ear fondly. She loved him so much. She was so grateful for meeting him in the woods that day... she didn't even want to imagine her life if she hadn't. And she wanted to be with him forever. "One day, soon, we'll be together like we're meant to," she whispered softly. "But that day has to wait because I'm not ready to be Indigo Firestar. Not yet." She gave a small grin. She wanted this life so badly but she was smart enough to realize that she needed to sort things out first. "This is so important Ash. I need to figure out stuff before so that it doesn't fall apart. I can't risk that happening." She bit the insides of her cheek nervously, shifting her weight as she prayed he would understand.

OOC; Sea! -huggles- Missed you Sorry about the Indi-Stellar thing but they needed to make up cause they were such good friends and then it kinda just.... developed, lol. But don't worry, Indi has every intention of staying with Ash If he'll have her... :/ lol

[Ash Firestar]

He chuckled, "Yup." He teased back. He was so happy now so, careless. Nothing seemed to matter other than the cat sitting right in front of him. He thought back on how he had come to love such a messed of cat. How she was so thoughtful and bright in their first meeting that slowly went downhill and she ran away. Then he accedently found her in the town dump and the confessed everything, then finally throwing herself off the chicken coop. Maybe he just wanted to help her, fix her all up and want her to be happy. That's what he was good at. He wasn't paying attention to how she was sitting there, that she was obviously looking so guilty. When she spoke of leaving he flicked imediately out of thinking into reality. What? He listened intently. Not making any comment on that, carefully keeping his face free of expression, assuming she caught that was a bad way to start it. He hated good-byes.

So, that was all? She just needed to mature a little bit? That wasn't major. But it still hurt. He got it and he respected it, but he was hurt. He looked down, wishing it wouldn't hurt as bad as it really did. "Hmm." Was all he could say at the moment. His emotions couldn't really take much, he wish he wasn't so sensitive, he wished he wasn't so attacted to her...in this way now. He should have realized to take it slow, but, wouldn't she be running off with that other tom right now? Would his heart never find it's true desire? He sighed lightly. "I get it. I should have seen that one coming," he struggled, choking back tears, but somehow managing to keep his face free of emotion. "I just want to to promise me something," he paused, waiting for her to answer, "Don't do anything reckless and stupid, I can't be there to save your life, for now anyways." He started to step back, turning away slightly. "I guess if we're truely meant to be we'll cross paths one way or another. I'll let you go for now." He sighed and turned his back on her and leaped onto the fence. "God, I hate good-byes." He whispered just loud enough so that she could here it. He didn't want to leave her just yet. "I love you..." he whispered into the wind, knowing that she wouldn't hear him, but he really meant it. He left the neighborhood and let his paws carry him away from his love...his future mate. If she wished, however.

No problem. i'm the one who should be sorry. it feels kinda like twilight doesn't it? (new moon) have you read those, they're awesome. =D

[Indigo Wintertrap]

set free your past
so shredding the skin

Indigo laughed, flicking Ash with her tail playfully. She felt so unbelievably happy right now and she wanted to stay this way forever and ever. But if that was to happen, she needed to leave. She was like a shooting star - brilliant right now but able to crash at any second. She needed to prevent that because she wanted things to work with Ash. She wanted this life so badly but if she was going to go through with this she was going to do it the right way. And to her, that meant taking a break. Clearing her head first before plunging into this. Her paws kneaded the ground with anxiety and she nervously continued to stare at Ash, wondering what he could possibly say after all of that. She saw the tears, hovering at the edges of his eyes and felt horrible. With a small whimper, she pressed herself closer to him, content to twine her tail with his and simply drink in his scent.

But she couldn't just stay there and make this worse. She detached herself and took a small step back, worried eyes flickering over him. She gave a small laugh. "I won't," she murmured, touching her tail tip to his flank in reassurance. "I'll be as sensible as I can," she added with a wry grin, knowing that that still wasn't all that sensible. "We are truly meant to be together," Indigo assured him, believing the words she spoke one hundred percent. "But that doesn't mean we can't spend a little while apart. If anything it'll make us appreciate each other more, won't it?" she chirped, trying to find some optimistic side to this. "If that's even possible," she whispered, pressing her muzzle against his fondly.

"This isn't a goodbye," she reminded him, flicking him again with her tail. "I'll be seeing you soon. If I could control time I'd race through this next month," she said with a laugh. Well maybe that wasn't true. As much as it would pain her to be away from Ash, she was looking forward to getting out, meeting others, and trying to find herself again. The old Indigo. She seemed so far away. "I love you too, Ash," she mumbled, her own tears starting to prick the backs of her eyes. Darting forward, she touched her nose to his cheek quickly. "...so much," she whispered before wheeling off and dashing off. She wouldn't be able to leap over the fence with this banged up paws but one of the boards was loose and she shimmied under it, coming out on the front lawn. Indigo turned back, now unable to see him and felt her heart seem to jump into her throat. Pushing her troubles down she turned back around resolutely and walked away.

then you won't fear
the fear of sin

OOC: Yay, Seadra! -tackleglomps- Yeah it does lol. Mhmm I've read all four, they're so good! I got Breaking Dawn the day it came out and just did nothing but read it that day until I was finished a few hours later lol

Oh yeah and I think they need to have a thread where Indigo tells him that she's pregnant. Or after the kittens are born but then it's like no advanced warning and I think telling him she's pregnant would be better cause she's all confused and scared and whatnot, you know?

[Ash Firestar]

yeah, but i want one post where ash meets someone else, like a best friend or something, ya know? He needs to broaden his horizons.

[Indigo Wintertrap]

((Sure that works fine. Wanna do both? Cause Indi already had the kittens so we kinda need to go back in time already lol But there's no uber-hurry if you wanna wait xD))