a silver pool of light,

[kestrel]

Her face is a map of the world



Is a map of the w o r l d

The wind whistled over her fur, blowing it the wrong way as she ran and finally the young snow-splotched tabby she-cat slowed and finally stopped with an angry. Her tongue ran quickly over her fur, smoothing it down with careful attentiveness. Once finished, she glanced up at the sky with a ferocious glare from her emerald eyes. She might have stuck her tongue out too if it hadn't been such a childish thing to do. Kestrel Wintertrap was no child. The thought brough a smirk to her lips and then she was running again, her grin widening as she realized that the wind had changed and she was now running into it. It smoothed over her fur in brisk licks as it passed over her and she let out a crystal laugh when she realized that it had bent to her command, after all. Everything did in the end. Another smirk, this time accompanied by a proud toss of the head and she raised herself up that extra inch, lighting down on the tips of her paws as she ran. Appearance was everything, after all. Performance, how you showed yourself - everything. The untrained mind might have begged to differ but Kessa always shut them down. Arguing was such fun.

Especially when you were always right.

With a low giggle under her breath, Kessa slowed down, stretching out her limbs nonchalantly and padding over to the stream. The water ran by so calmly, so easily. A sudden spark flamed up inside of her as the urge to rush in and splash about its waters just to mess it up descended on her. Her claws dug into the earth and she exhaled slowly, straightening up. No, that was silly. That was immature, that was reckless, that was ridiculous. Listing off adjectives was always a good way to calm down when she got like this. Subtlety was her thing. Manipulation was her thing. She operated by deceit when she wanted power. It was what put her above those that simply used brute strength to try and accomplish what they wanted. Sniffing, Kessa padded closer to the edge of the stream, lying down and stretching her paws out in front of her. She felt a flash of admiration at the way the snowy white patches of fur were splotched so neatly onto her paws, blending in seamlessly with the chocolate-striped hazel fur that coated the majority of her small body. Despite the genes, she'd somehow turned out beautiful. Giggling to herself at that cruel thought - she'd never met her biological father after all (and didn't particularily care to do so) - but she had doubts about his attractiveness. Her mother didn't have the best taste in tom cats if her current "mate" was any indication.

Snickering, Kessa licked her lips with amusement, a purr rumbling through her small frame. She loved times like these. Times when she could just reflect on everyone, strategize. About life, about her siblings, about her mother. They were all so easy to fool. Her siblings were all a decent bunch - which made them fresh fodder, to speak crudely. And Indigo? Yes, she interrupted with a smirk. That's enough references to her as 'my mother.' She's not listening in on me after all and I know very well that she doesn't deserve the term. She rolled her vibrant eyes and gave her head a little shake as she returned to topic. Indigo had never been the smartest of cats. Or at least, not when it came to her kittens. And not when it came to Kestrel. First, she wasn't cut out to be a mother. It was clear enough that she hadn't planned on having kittens - or else why wouldn't she have simply had them with, hmm, her mate? - but it was equally clear that she had no idea what to do with the bunch of them. Sure, she wasn't completely negligent. Just a bit naive. She always managed to think the best of Kestrel. She still looked at her like a little kitten that's been up to mischief. Kessa snorted. Please. She'd been born mature. Not like the silly orange she-cat could have ever known, she'd never been all that interested in her children. Sure, she'd tried to act the part but to anyone with a modicum of intelligence it was clear that her heart wasn't in it. But that suited Kessa fine. She got to raise herself, choose her own values in the world instead of having them ironed into her fur when she was kitten. No, life had dealt Kessa a royal flush, tucked away in the disguise of a pair of twos. Sure, it didn't look like the best set up but it gave her all the independence she needed and let her grow into the sort of cat that she wanted to be. So what was the problem with that?

A S H . F I R E S T A R

[Ash Firestar]

Ash Firestar. He was probably noted one of the sweetest toms by all of his friends, and everybody he met. He always tried to see the good in any cat he met. Hell! He could meet a completely demented cat and think that he or she was the coolest and nicest cat he had ever met. Of course, Ash had a way of bringing out the good in all of the cats he met. He had seen that Indigo was a very sweet cat that had her smart moments and came to love her, and Moon she was rather kind and sweet and, quite frankly, was not the smartest of all cats. Lastly, Stellar; ah Stellar, poor thing. He had a very rough history with Indigo, he loved her. So much that he would give Indigo everything she wanted, even the most devastating of things. Pleasure. Ash hated to say it, but Indigo was rather self-centered and selfish sometimes. That was completely uncalled for, and she should have known better. The fact that Indigo had had Stellar’s kittens was totally and completely mind-boggling. Ash feared that by meeting them, he would go crazy and get mad by seeing Stellar’s face in what were supposed to be his kits! But…oh well, too late now. You can’t change the past.

God, Ash was too nice.

Ash was completely unaware that his gray and black daubed paws were carrying him to Thorton Stream. He was aware of this by the rushing sound of the fast moving water that always seemed to soothe his thoughts. Ash was unable to keep out of his head, he was always thinking about something. He was a very philosophical kitty, and he could not help it. He absolutely hated himself for it, he always thought about things too hard and too deeply. But, this also made him very clever and brilliant. Strangely enough, he had been attracted to the not-so-brilliant Indigo. He loved her, but he couldn’t help but think about her faults at this moment. He hurt himself on the inside about thinking such terrible things but he wasn’t able to stop it. Indigo was very very very self centered and selfish that it pained him to try and stop her from hurting herself! How could she not think about him at all!? Like when she had tried to throw herself off the chicken coop. What the hell? He had to save her, then she had run off on him at the dump. And he had followed her. I guess that takes true love to keep up with her after all of this. He wished that he wasn’t so sweet and nice to everybody, but rather mean so that Indigo could get the picture that he didn’t enjoy the satisfaction of saving her after she had tried to kill herself! He growled at himself softly at this thought.

He had finally reached the Thorton Stream. He smiled gently as he saw his reflection. At least his appearance wasn’t faltered, he looked as he always did, like an innocent cat that wasn’t a harm to anybody. Just then, he saw a kitten a little ways to his left. She was about eight to nine months, it was a she, she had penetrating green eyes and was a brown tabby with white splotches. There was only one kit he knew that looked like this. Kestral! This was the kitten that was always getting into mischief. Ash knew that she was old enough that she wasn’t getting into trouble on accident. He decided to go up to her. He made it steady and stealthy, like he hadn’t really noticed her. But Kestral seemed like one of the smarter of the kits, and had probably noticed him. He dipped his head to the cool fresh water and drank. The water cooled his throat and he could finally speak. ”Hello there,” He said in his deep acknowledging voice. Well, at least he was having some contact with another cat. For once.

[kestrel]

You can see she's a beautiful girl



She's a beautiful g i r l

"Hello there."

Kestral giggled mentally, merely pursing her lips and sitting up, turning to face the grey tom. Had Ash been trying to be stealthy? Because if so, he had epically failed. She'd been watching him in her peripheral vision even since he'd padded down to the water. But no need to inform him of that. Instead, she smiled sweetly, straightening up to perfect posture and letting her tail curl around her front paws. The very epitome of angelicness. Ha. The bitchiest angel there ever was, maybe. She blinked, her own silent form of snorting of herself. And then arched one brow politely. "Hello?" Yes, a question. As in, what was Ash's purpose here? Why was he talking to her? What did he need to tell her? Was he carrying a message from her mother? All those questions conveyed in one word and a facial expression. Oh, the dizzying power of control. Kessa love it.

There was just something so freaking empowering about being completely in charge of your facial expression, your little body twitches. It took practice, it was challenging... But Kessa lived for challenges and this one proved to be quite rewarding. Sure, it was basically just acting - except that there was nothing "basic" about it. It was manipulating, it was a way to fool others, it was the way to be in control of any situation. Even when your emotions were reeling, if you be self-contained and calm then you were winning. Whether that meant that another cat or your emotions were losing didn't matter. The losers never mattered, only the winners. They were the ones who got to write history after all. But she was divulging into a slightly broaded tangent here and a wandering mind wasn't the best weapon in a situation like this. She could always choose another from her arsenal, she thought, lips twitching in the faintest smirk.

She could do that with Ash. She could let the veil slip a little bit. Ash was... non-judgmental. He was safe. He was an adult but he was the kind that didn't need fooling because they could be wrapped around your paw in a second without it. Grinning slightly, emerald hues brightening up, Kessa tilted her head to the side, batting her lashes. "Came out to visit me, did you?" she cooed with a light laugh, abandoning the cool demeanor quickly and wondering how long it would take him to keep up. "Indigo not interesting enough?" The words "My mother" had just been on the tip of her tongue but she'd bit them away quickly. She only had to say when Indigo was around and though Ash may have been her "mate" - that was a whole other issue, really - he wasn't the small orange tabby she-cat that liked to act like a bipolar freak all the time. No. Ash was an adult but he wasn't Indigo.

[Ash Firestar]

Kestrel’s giggle made Ash uneasy. Why was she giggling? He frowned lightly and made his face composed, trying not to seem uneasy. He sat back on his haunches, very still and calm. He was also quiet, for once. His blue eyes stared into Kestrel’s green ones unknowingly and questionably. He wondered what was going on in her head, what she really thought of everybody in her life. He was feeling rather curious today, and Kestrel was one of his favorite of Indigo’s kittens for she seemed the most different. She was very mature and smart for a nine month old kitten.

”Hello?”

She asked it in a questioning tone. So, she was asking questions too, eh? He wondered what about. He shook his fur and nodded in acknowledgment at her question. He didn’t intend to answer it, he decided just to pretend like it was a simple hello. His lips curled up in a smirk. He didn’t want to force Kestrel to like him, that was her decision. But, she was so strange and foreign to him that he had to stop and think. Ash noticed for the first time that Kestrel was a spitting image of Stellar, all but her strange eyes and her paw markings. But from behind, he could have easily mistaken her for Stellar’s mini-me. The thought of this made him want to leap at Kestrel and strike her, but he wouldn’t. He was more civilized than this, and who knows, maybe Kestrel was nothing like Stellar. Ash sheathed and unsheathed his claws in the dirt, making little marks on the ground.

”Came out to visit me, did you?” Ash noted her light laugh. Why did she laugh? ”Indigo not interesting enough?” The grey tom made a mental note that she called her mother ‘Indigo’. He narrowed his eyes, why was this? He frowned and straightened his lips again. ”I was just on my way to see her actually,” His voice was strong and sure. It was a lie. He just wanted to get away from Indigo. He couldn’t stand her complaining all the time about how she didn’t want kittens yet, that she didn’t deserve Ash. ”She’s definitely not the cat I fell for about a year ago,” He sighed and kept sheathing and unsheathing his paws. Why was he telling her this? Kestrel was but a kitten, not even a year old. He growled at himself mentally and looked back at Kestrel. What a strange kitty.

[kestrel]

And everything around her



Is a silver pool of l i g h t

Kestrel raised one brow with a hint of amusement. Ash was on his way to see Indigo? "Oh yes, you really looked as if you were heading somewhere with a purpose," she taunted quietly, rolling her bright eyes before focusing them back on him with a startingly direct gaze. "And where is she, then?" she challenged with a smirk. If Ash was truly on his way to see Indigo then he would know that she had gone down from the hills today without any explanation other then just "needing to go be somewhere else - somewhere lower down and closer to everything." Whatever. If Indigo hated living by the falls, she could have easily traipsed off and left them. Which, hey, there were some brownie points for Kestrel's dear mother. No matter how obvious it was that she didn't want to be a mother, she'd never actually left left them. Sure, she left all the time to go do her own thing... But she always came back.

Of course that probably had to do with the fact that Ash wasn't even their father, Kestrel reasoned, studying the grey tom as she reflected on him. He acted the part but he wasn't. Besides, he was only here because of Indigo. Or did he really, truly, honestly, and sincerely have paternal feelings for her and her siblings? For all or any of them? For her? Her lips curled, betraying a hint of amusement. She wanted that expressed. It could either serve to lighten the mood or put him at even more unease. Either way, things could be interesting. The expression vanished immediately, replaced by a sweet smile with bipolar-like speed. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she stared at Ash, content for the moment to just... observe him.

"She's definitely not the cat I fell for about a year ago."

Oh, how it took all of Kessa's control not to jump up at that one. What. The. Hell. Had Ash actually said that? Had he actually said that? She wasn't dreaming, was she? Pricking her ears forward slightly, she rose and sauntered slightly closer to Ash, a sly grin appearing on her face. "Oh really?" she inquired, assuming an innocent expression and letting all the slyness merely tinge her lips. She stretched her front right paw out, giving a lazy inspection and keeping her voice level as she spoke again. "I'm sure Indigo would just love to hear that." She lifted her emerald gaze and stared directly into his eyes, lips curving with satisfaction. "Don't you agree?" she inquired innocently, a certain iciness beginning to tinge her tone of voice now. She dropped the paw to the ground softly and took a step closer, the sweet smile becoming taunting. "Is that why you were on your way to see her? To tell her that she's "not the cat you fell for a year ago", boo hoo hoo." Her eyes flashed.

Kessa wasn't trying to stand up for her mother here, though maybe it would seem that way to Ash, she wasn't sure - and didn't care, really. But Ash had just revealed something to her that was like a ticking bomb - dynamite that would go off when she wanted. Batting her lashes coquettishly, she took a step closer and smirked up at the tom. "Shall we head over together now to pass on the lovely news," she purred. "Or have you decided that you're not really heading to see her after all?" Her tone slipped back in an innocent one, a bubblegum-sweet baby voice replacing her former cold taunting. And just like that, all hints of cruelty evaporated. Her tail curled around her left back leg and she glanced up and Ash and smiled. As her mind continued to tick away dangerously.

[Ash Firestar]

Ash was expecting something her to ask where he thought she was. He grinned and looked at his reflection in the water. He looked just as he always had, blue eyes grey and black splotched coat. He was happy to see that it was nice and shiny and short, considering the hot weather he hoped it was shorter than usual. He turned back to her, her taunting and hard gaze made him wonder what was going on in her little head. She was oddly mature for her age, this always scared him. It was very strange to see this tiny little she-cat that was nine months old speaking like an adult, and acting like one too. It frightened, yet amazed him.

Surprisingly, he had gained some maternal aspects when suddenly being forced to care for them because Indigo didn’t seem to care for her own kits. Ash didn’t care if they weren’t his, and Indigo didn’t want them! She should be caring for them, at least spending time with them! It was strange how deranged she had become, how depressed and how she moped about all the time. It made him sad to see her sad, and angry. Indigo had no self respect or confidence. Well, she did before all of this. She had a personality and didn’t act so…dead all the time. That’s the Indigo he loved, the flirty, silly, and smart one. The cat that was almost as philosophical as him, that actually had a brain. What had she actually become? What the hell was going on in her little head? He focused his attention span back on Kestrel for a moment just in time to see her expression change from being amused to sweet and innocent. Oh. Hell. No. He wasn’t falling for that, there was something else going on in Kessa’s head. He just didn’t know what that was.

“Oh really?” He pursed his lips, careful not to give an expression away. Her little innocent look was amusing, yet suspicious. “I’m sure Indigo would just love to hear that.” He looked down at the nine month year old kitten, her lips curved slightly. What was that? He thought. Was that satisfaction? Strange. He didn’t know what to make of this. “Don’t you agree?” The slight iciness that hinted in her voice chilled his paws and the tips of his ears, she was a very odd kitten. He didn’t want to say anything just yet. He’d let her finish. ”Is that why you were on your way to see her? To tell her that she’s not “the cat you fell for a year ago”, boo hoo hoo.” Her smile, her voice, everything about her was strangely taunting. His eyes became slits.

“Sure, why not? She’ll probably try and kill herself. Again.” He spat, his blue eyes turned to ice as he thought what he had said over. How stupid was he? He didn’t even think that maybe Kessa was standing up for her mother.

”Shall we head over together to pass on the lovely news?” Ash watched as different emotions passed across her face, finally becoming sweet and innocent. He grinned with amusement, how could she possibly think that she was slick? She was playing tricks with his head for information. ”Or have you decided that you’re not really heading to see her after all?” No, of course he wasn’t going to see her. He was came here to get away from her. He sighed, ”Kestrel, I can’t tell you how mature you are!” He suddenly changed the subject, ”I mean, you’re so…grown up.” His expression changed from hard and cold to sweet and adult-ish in seconds. His voice was kind and charming, he was going to play this game too. He knew that Kessa would just see right threw it, but who cares? It was fun, actually.