mad. world. [|{open to all}|]

[Stellar Snowpaw]

all around me are familiar faces

Sometimes you feel as if the world is coming to the end it knew would come. Sometimes you feel like you're going down, down into the watery feeling of despair, of distress, depression. Sometimes you feel as if this is your last breath. Your last thought. Your last words. But then there is this enlightenment, where you realize, through your thoughts, your worries, that everything is alright. That it's gonna be okay. That the world is still turning, you're standing up-right, and it's fine.

But that's only sometimes. Sometimes you never make it out of your depression. Sometimes it hangs over you, like a deep, dank cloud that knows everything that you hate and points it out to you just to make you scream. That is how the brown tabby walking toward the waterfall felt. He felt... Suicidal.

But why at a waterfall? Why such a place of amazing beauty? Why not in the dump, where he had been... Dumped? The reason: Beauty had killed him. So why not let it kill him again? Why not let it wash over him, and then kill him like it all ready had? What better place than Echoing Falls?

'There's so much death going on, though... I can't. I can't... Think of them. Of the kits. Won't you want them to see you... Alive? Think of the way Ash would feel with you out of the way, Stellar. He'd feel like he'd won. Like he killed you. Like he had defeated you...' He contradicted himself over and over. He felt like the ocean, like a wave being blown here and there... He felt... Alone. Unwanted.

'Stellar, you're such a baby... Stop thinking about yourself. Think of how Indigo feels... Loving two toms... Not being able to choose. But having chosen already.' He sighed. This wasn't right. He couldn't just stay depressed, down ridden from something that beautiful amber cat had done to him. She was gone, and he would never see him again... So what the heck?! Why worry? He could go find someone else. Someone better. Someone who wouldn't leave him. Someone to love. To hold. To belong to and to own. To...

A single tear trickled down his striped muzzle. He had had that. He had had someone like that. He had had Indigo. He had. But she was gone.

'SHUT UP, STELLAR! SHE IS GONE! NEVER. COMING. BACK. STOP WORKING YOURSELF UP OVER HER. SHE'S NEVER GOING TO BE YOUR'S EVER AGAIN.'

He shuffled to a tree, and reached up his paws and scratched down it, ripping the bark off. Tearing the moss off. He needed this. Soon there were stripes down the side of the tree, and another, and another one following it. There were striped trees aall around him. And yey, he needed more. But he wouldn't. He smelled a male around. A familiar male, but he couldn't place a claw on it...

words- four hundred seventy-eight
muse- ewww
comments- felt like this is a post stellar needed. anyone can post... maybe a wintertrap kit?

worn out places, warn out faces

[kestrel]

Kestrel Wintertrap's small pink nose wrinkled with distaste as she surveyed the plummeting chute of water in front of her. The falls. Or in other words, home. She'd been born here, she'd grown here playing in the caves and amongst the trees with her siblings. But it didn't feel like a home, it felt like the sort of place that you were always trying to escape from. She was, in any case. Rolling her eyes in a quick, irritated motion, Kessa slunk forwards - out of the fringe of trees and up closer to the base of the waterfall. The water crashed down on the rocks, roaring in her ears, but she didn't care. As much as she was always trying to get as far away from them as possible... Kessa truly did love the falls. They were just so majestic, so beautiful. It wasn't there fault that Indigo had chosen them to be "home." Then again, chosen wasn't the best word. It wasn't as if any of them had ever consciously decided that this would be where they lived, where they grew up. They had just fallen into a pattern and were now stuck in some weird kind of limbo.

Her tail twitched as she contemplated on the rest of her family. They were so messed up. And not just for the obvious Ash-vs-Stellar-father-dilemna reason. No, added on to that was the fact that Indigo had never wanted kittens and made that quite obvious. She was never all that maternal, often went off by herself for the entire day or even night. Not that Kessa minded what the other she-cat - it was just so hard to actually think of her as a mother - chose to do with her time, her life, but it certainly had a way of screwing up the family dynamic. She snorted. Then again, she'd never really been all for "family dynamics" so who was she to mind? Exactly. With a small sigh, she crept closer to the falls, trying to just forget about everyone else for a change. As much as she loved analysing others, reading them like books - and she did love it - sometimes it was best to just let it go and have some alone time. The back of her mind could continue reflecting on everything if it wanted but her attention would be occupied elsewhere for once.

Why didn't she just leave? If she disliked being here so much, disliked her family so much... Why didn't she just leave? She'd tried often enough but... Here Kessa's thought process ground to a halt. Tried wasn't the right word at all. She'd never actually tried to escape - if she had have she would have succeeded. She always did. She gave a small sniff, tail curling around her back right leg with haughty satisfaction. No, Kestrel Wintertrap had never actually tried to leave. She'd pushed the boundaries, always inching the limits out more and more. Why when she'd been only a few months old she'd gone all the way down to the farm land. A small smile graced her lips as she remembered the long trek down, her aching muscles, the fatigue... But she'd succeeded. Kestrel Wintertrap never failed. At anything. Which was why it was completely untrue to say that she had ever actually tried to leave. No, she'd just been testing everyone, getting away with more and more... And now what? What boundary was left to be pushed? Sure, she could keep going but at some point it would become irrelevant, pointless. Maybe that point was now.

A thoughtful expression settling onto her face, Kessa tilted her head to the side as she mulled over this idea. She'd clearly shown that she could push the boundaries whenever she wanted to. Why not take that one last step and just get out of here?

Startled suddenly out of her reverie by the tearing sound of claws on bark, Kessa's head swung around automatically and instantaneously, a hiss escaping from her lips as she spied the tom cat. Idiot. Narrowing her green orbs, she drew her up to her full (albeit still tiny) height and trotted closer. Who was this stranger and what did he think he was doing? Her eyes focused in automatically on all the basics: brown tabby fur, green eyes... Eyes a bit like her own, actually, except noticeably less vibrant, she thought with a smirk. None could come close. But still her eyes swept over the body of the tom, lingering for some strange reason. There was just something... familiar about the tom. Even though she was almost certain that she'd never seen him before. But his structure, his shoulders, his face... They all reminded her of someone. With a start she realized that he reminded a bit of Striker. Except for the eyes - but even then only the color was different, the shape was...

Holy shit.

Eyes widening - thank god he wasn't looking at her because that would have otherwise been an embarrassing display of emotion - Kessa let out a shaky breath - a mix of delight and unease. Oh yes. She knew exactly who this tom was - who he had to be. Passing closer to him, she stopped, a subtle smirk appearing on her face. But it was quickly brushed away and replaced with an innocent expression. Fighting the slow fuse of anger rising inside of her - she was not treating the guy any differently than anyone else - Kestrel swallowed and managed to voice the name that had only been whispered when she was in earshot as a kitten and then later explained a few things but generally not mentioned but Indigo or Ash.

"Stellar?"

OOC: This is all to assume that they've never met before, correct? Cause Kestrel's feelings towards her biological father and a bit sketchy but clearly not positive so I think it's best that they've never met til now for the purpose of the thread.

[lion]

525,600 minutes, how do you measure-measure a year?
In daylights - In sunsets?
In midnights - In cups of coffee?
In inches - In miles?
In laughter - In strife?

At near nine months old, the young tabby kitten made his way from the cities limits towards the outskirts where he'd been born. Although he'd considered himself technically "left from the nest" he still liked to come back here. It had fond memories of his kitten-hood. It seemed like only yesterday he'd been playing in the tall grass by the waters with his siblings. Protecting Striker and Puma from harm, watching Kestrel rebel on her own and letting Lynx do what she wanted. It seemed so long ago, yet it seemed only like yesterday. 'I wonder where everyone else is now.' He thought to himself slowing his pace as he neared his home's edge.

The echoing of the crashing falls was the first thing that could be heard as he neared, next was the raising of the steamy waters and water spray that hung thick in the air. It made his coat feel heavy, and humid, however he'd grown used to the feeling months ago. It was his home after all. He spent most of his life thus far here, and didn't give a damn about what anyone thought about him and how he felt about his family. He loved this place, and his family. Even if they didn't get along some times, or they seemed broken. 'If it's not broke don't fix it I suppose.' He thought, his family might have been broken just a tad bit but it was perfect for him. Even if he didn't know his real father, Stellar, and even if he'd have liked to meet him at lest once. Even if his mother was a bit crazy, and his siblings where gone doing their own thing, he was piratically an adult now and was time for him to move on, live his own life, and someday start a family of his own.

Lion gave out a hearty laugh at the last thought. 'Yeah right,' He thought, he didn't want to be a father, sure having a mate would be nice and all but kits? Nah, that wasn't for him. Though, he couldn't help but envisioning a orange tabby male, and a mysterious female cat with young healthy kittens running around the falls. Lion shook his head. Maybe he was just afraid of becoming a father, afraid he'd be a failure, afraid of being hated like his own real father. Afraid he'd be uncaring like his mother, afraid he might never even meet his kits like his father.

Lion shook his head again and scoffed. He was being stupid! With a capitol S. As Lion wandered farther into the familiar territory, two scents reached his nose. Both familiar, however one less familiar than the first. One a male, the other a female. It did not take him long to recognize the female as his sister, one of them at lest. Which he couldn't tell, he scent was not clear enough. Curiously, Lion ventured farther into the echoing falls and saw the two cats. Kestrel and an unknown male whom seemed fairly familiar, it didn't register right away at just who this male was.

Lion, with a smile trotted right up to the two, he smiled brightly at his sister. Happy to see her actually, it'd been a while since he'd seen his siblings, it was nice to know at lest one of them was still alive. "Hey Kessa, who's your friend?" He asked curiously a sly grin on his face as he half teased his sister. How he missed the good old days. His golden orbs glanced towards the unknown male, and once a better look had gotten surfaced wind rushed out of his lungs as the image of Striker passed through his mind. 'Dad...?' The words left his mouth silently, as his jaw stood gaped, could this really be their father?

In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

Ooc: Hope you guys don't mind that I have Lion jump in this thread too. xD but I'll have to post when I get home. =x
Edit to Lu: Yeah, that's fine with me. Lion hasn't met Stellar yet either so I thought this would be a nice opportunity for him to do so. P: Since Lion was suppose to be the one who liked Stellar, while Striker was the one who didn't. xD

[Stellar Snowpaw]

bright and early for their daily races

The smell... It smelled familiar. Almost like her, but it wasn't. It smelled like her and that tom. He wouldn't name them. It would bring too much sorrow, anger... Pain. He was about to ignore it when he hear his name, spoken from a voice he had never heard before, yet one he had always known... Like in the movies where you always know who that new character is. Only now, he didn't know who was talking to him.

When you hear your name from an unknown voice, you feel like you're dreaming, like it's just your imagination. Especially now, since Stellar hadn't spoken to anyone for quite some time. Not quite some time... For months. And now that he heard his name being spoken, it was as if he had forgotten it. Like it was just this word, just a word. But it wasn't. It was him name. And a stranger had said it. He slowly swung his head around, then swiveled his body around under it. There standing before him, was a small she-cat. How did she know his--?

Then it came to him. She, this she-cat, was his, Stellar's... kit. The very one he was thinking about moments before. It was like an episode from the Twilight Zone or something. 'Speak of the devil,' he thought, 'hopefully, she isn't one...'

(OOC: all evidence to the contrary, right? x333 i guess he'll find out in time.)

How to answer? He couldn't just say yeah, like it was no big deal. This was his kit that he hadn't seen in... forever! And who was that orange tabby? He looked just like her. But.. Maybe he was more... He didn't know.

"Y-yes," he stuttered, looking with longing eyes toward the kit. He wanted so much just to lick her, tell her he loved her no matter what Ash or Indigo said... But his conscience told him no. Not a good first impression. "I'm Stellar. A-and you are?" He knew who they were. They were his kits! And they had come to him. To apologize for their mother's behavior, yeah. And tell him that they loved him too, and that they would help the two of them, Stellar and her, to get back together.

But his interpretations, they were wrong.

words- three hundred forty-one
muse- still pretty bad. a plot's coming, though!
comments- i worked in that stellar thinks they're coming to apologize for indigo's behavior just to make it a little more intersting. i wasn;t implying that i think you guys should. in fact, i don't want you guys to. x33

going nowhere, going nowhere

[Indigo Wintertrap]

"Hey Kessa, who's your friend?"

Kestrel turned as her brother padded up beside them, offering a small grin. "Hey, Lion." Oh, this was about to get interesting, wasn't it? She snorted. "Friend? As if." Rolling her eyes, she flicked her tail at Lion. Not only was she not the type to have a flock of friend but "That would be so creepy if I was friends with some random old tom," she informed him with a quick shake of the head. Not to mention, Stellar would seem like so sketchy. Nudging her brother as she stepped beside him, she raised one brow, waiting... waiting... waiting... And there it was. The realization. She allowed herself to giggle as she watched Lion's jaw drop, watch him stand there gape-mouthed. How ridiculous. Really. Funny, though.

"Y-yes."

Her gaze swung back to Stellar, eyes flashing with delight as he confirmed what she'd been sure of. This was Stellar. This was Stellar. This was Stellar. This was Stellar. Her mind was raching ahead and she forced herself to inhale and exhale - stay calm, not be overwhelmed by all the new possibilities that this could lead to. She straightened herself up again, narrowing her eyes at the tom. He looked so confused. Almost as if... Oh my god! He had no clue

UNFINISHED