An Unfortunate Reunion

[Ash Firestar]

For Stellar


"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

The small grey-and-black bengal prowled into the park emotionlessly. He sat by a prickly-leaved bush, watching carelessly as the humans played, laughing and snorting with laughter. Deep down, he was lonely. He had come here, hoping to find somebody that he knew, somebody familiar, to lift his spirits a little bit. Ash closed his blue orbs and listened to the familiar sounds. The trickle that came from the water fountain, the plop and the cry of a fallen human child, the bark of a dog (probably on a leash) that was etching to chase his human. He sighed aloud and opened his eyes, knowing that his predictions of what was going on around him were true. His eyes slowly snapped to the old oak tree a few pawsteps in front of him.

How old and maginificant, He thought, letting his mouth curl up into a half smile, I wonder how such a tree could withstand all of the torture, rain, water, sun, and snow even? How it could grow so old and look so beautiful all in one? Ash frowned, he knew that this tree was stronger than any human or cat (definately some stupid dog) alive. He chuckled silently, what a thought. How something that never moved could see everything and hear anything that went on over a hundred years, was a crazy thing. Ash wondered what it would be like to be a tree, to have the wind whistling through your leaves, and not have a care in the world. To see the first humans come, and take away all of his friends mustn't have been very great, but to see everything.... He stopped thinking as his eyes flashed to the running humans in front of him.

[Stellar Snowpaw]

The brown striped tom trotted through the forest and then to the park. Why was he coming here, of all places? He had a feeling something was here that he would see, that would make him feel even worse than he already did. And there it was.

Ash. Sitting there, looking at a tree. So vunerable. No. He couldn't think that. He'd probably tear Indigo to pieces if she knew he thought that about him. Him. What would he do to him? Attack him? Run away? Tell him that he was right for giving Indigo up? Stellar growled, letting the fury boil up inside of him, but he resisted the urge to attack the silver tom that stood so harmlessly before him. He could sneak up and end it all, or go up to him and at least try to make things right.

The latter seemed the hardest. How could he talk to someone who had ruined his life? He sighed. He was going to have to try. He was going to have to try to seem... Nice. Perhaps Ash would let him see the kits. See Indigo. Or perhaps he would tear him to shreds. Oh, how many things could happen between them? Would Ash turn to see him and attack him, not letting him speak? Or would he be nice, the Ash that Indigo knew, or said she knew.

Stellar approached silently. He swallowed, breathing a silent prayer. Then he spoke aloud. "Hello, Mr. Firestar." It was a bit frightened, but he held most of his fury in - he may need it soon - for fear Ash would take advantage of it. He looked at the tom through his emerald eyes. "H-how's I-I... How is she?" He couldn't say her name. It didn't roll of his tounge like it used to.

[Ash Firestar]

"Fate - everything happens for a reason.
And when fate happens look for the good in it as it is there."

Ash kept his senses up and alert, mostly his hearing. He heard something creeping up behind him, he sighed and turned around. What he found was definitely not what he expected. Stellar. How, odd, Ash thought, cocking his head to the side, that Stellar would approach me. I thought he hated me. He shrugged it off and smiled his polite smile that was emotionless, but showed that he wished not to fight him. Actually, Stellar would probably win right now, concidering he had the element of suprize. But, it seemed Stellar did not want to fight either. Ash pondered that for a second, and decided to acknowledge him. "Hola, senior," he said with as much happiness as he could muster.

When Stellar asked about Indigo, he rolled his eyes. But luckily, Ash relized later, that this action did not show. Of course though, Stellar had not gotten over Indigo, the love of his life. "She's fine," he answered blankly. He looked over Stellar, he wasn't good at predicting what the females were thinking (thanks to his mom) as he was at predicting what toms were thinking. But, it was quite clear that this perticular tom was angry. Ash didn't mean to steal Indigo from him, not in that way at all. He believed that this was a conclusion by fate. That Stellar wasn't meant for Indigo, which meant there was a girl out there just for him. That Stellar had a mate just waiting to be found.

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Stellar held the growl that wanted so badly to come up from his throat. Obviously, Ash had no regrets whatsoever of ruining his life. Of course. Stellar wasn't held in regard by anyone but Taro and Harbor. "Has she had any of your kits yet?" Stellar smirked, thought it did not show that well, at his comment. It was so rude, yet so true. She probably hadn't. She probably was still angry about the kits she had had with him, so how would she have time for a new litter?

He let the growl come up. The thought of Indigo having kits with this grey monster that stood before him was a nightmare. "You do know that you ruined my life, don't you?" Stellar was getting a bit annoyed with himself. He was letting everything out. But it felt so good. So good to get this load of his shoulders. "She was happy before you came along and BRAINWASHED her." That felt good to get off his shoulders too. And now there was anothing thing, something he didn't know. Maybe after talking to Ash after a while it would come. He hoped. That way everything wold be off him and he could be free, go on with his life. Maybe... He couldn't get ahead of himself, he had to get through today before going on to tomorrow.

[Ash Firestar]

"In our pursuit to find the enemy we came face to face with ourselves."

Suprizingly, Ash kept his cool. He flinched slightly at his yelled remarks. He sighed, again and again, trying desprately to keep his composure. I haven't done anything wrong, he kept trying to tell himself, but somehow, it didn't feel true. Technically, it was his fault. If he had just never run into Indigo, if he did then he could have just gone away, once he found out that Stellar loved Indigo, he didn't have to run away, he could have stayed and endured. Maybe then, he could have found somebody else. But, he did. He did all of those things. "Stellar, you have no idea," he said quietly. "You have no clue at how much pain and agony I have suffered to get to where I am today." His voice barely a whisper. "She tried to commit suicide, Stellar!" He sighed and looked at his paws, "She ran away from me, and only to find out that she had mated with you, that hurt," He paused, "Indigo doesn't know it, but I'm crumpling up inside. I'm falling apart trying to keep myself without regrets," He looked at Stellar and his tone raised slightly. "Because, if you keep looking back on your regrets you will never truely enjoy what's right there in front of you."

He stepped close so that he was just inches from the tom's face, he backed up a little, not knowing how he would react. For the first time, he thought about what he should say before he said it. "Do you know about fate, Mr. Snowpaw?" He didn't wait for stellar to reply, "Indigo doesn't believe in it, but I do. Everything happens for a reason, and everything I have said and done was reckless and selfish. I think that Indigo wasn't meant for you, I believe that there is another somebody just for you, Stellar." He made his words firm enough that they should hit him pretty hard in the face, Ash said his words with meaning. "Stellar, I have no reason to hate you. I don't truely know who you are. And, if you judge me without knowing me, blindly seeing me, then you are an idiot." At his last remark he stepped back intelligently, a few feet so if stellar went off on him he would be prepared.

[Stellar Snowpaw]

The words went in one ear and out the other. This tom didn't get it. HE was the one who had caused all his hurt. He had taken Indigo away from him, and when she couldn't go back, she had tried to kill herself. Ash couldn't push everything on Stellar. If he was all "crumpled" up inside he shouldn't have taken Indigo as his mate. Then all of this could've been avoided. But no, Stellar didn't matter anymore except to his two nursing friends, Taro and Harbor.

"... you're an idiot."

[/i]

"You don't know how many TIMES I have heard that one. That's the LAST STRAW. I don't CARE about what INDIGO thinks. I am going to KILL you if you say one more thing about your little 'fate.'" Stellar growled the words as they ran out from his mouth. He was sick and tired of this Ash. And if he wanted to live, he would shut the **** up and leave him alone. Or he could die. Either one would please Stellar. He unheathed his claws, then sheathed them again, then unsheathed them. He hadn't had them used them in a long time. Now he could use them. Unless Ash was going to be a coward and run.

But... Then all the hard work Taro and Harbor had done for him would be wasted. Stellar sighed and sheathed them again. He wouldn't fight unless Ash did something, anything offensive.[/blockquote]

[Ash Firestar]

"Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up."

Ash lowered his head peacefully, and backed off. The last thing he wanted was a battle. What good would that do? How would that make him look? He shook his head in disbelief, "I was wondering, Stellar," Ash looked the tom in the eyes, "what made you so mean and apparently evil." Ash's ice-cold, hard eyes dug into Stellar's hazel (i think he has hazel eyes, not sure tho!) ones. "I just can't see it, though." He shrugged, "You seemed so nice when we first encountered. It's strange what hate can do to a tom, eh?" He backed away a few inches from Stellar, not sure how he would react, he was in a bit of a temper.

He shut his eyes and opened them again, blinking hardly. Trying to loose the image of this mad cat. Ash shrugged, That's what Indigo said, she hated the thought of fate. I wonder though, what is the difference between fate and destiny? he thought to him self with a quick smile. "Stellar, what is the difference between fate and destiny?" He tried to small talk, "It's been bugging me, a lot." He was pretty postitive Stellar would go off on him, that Stellar would attack him. But, Stellar ceased to dazzle him.

[Stellar Snowpaw]

"I don't hate Indigo, if that's what you mean." Stellar hissed the words. The very thought. This tom... He made Stewllar sick. He made Stellar want to attack him, just the sight of him. But what would Indigo think? What would it do to her heart. She would probably come and attack him. She hated him. She loved Ash, that simple.

Right now, though, the thought of killing Ash was very... Pleasant. Getting all that hate and anger out on a single cat would be nice, though very wrong. But who cared. It was just Ash. Right? It was just Indigo's mate, the one who the kits probably relied on. The one who had stolen Indigo from him. The one who he had hated. The one who Indigo had been brainwashed by.

The one who Indigo loved. 'No,' Stellar told himself. 'Stop.' But the fury burned up inside of him. He repeated the words in his mind. Indigo loved Ash, no getting past that. But what if... What if Stellar got her to love him? Or Ash to love someone else? Perhaps...

But didn't Stellar slightly like Harbor and/or Taro? Shouldn't he just forget about Indigo...? Wasn't she just someone who had left him all torn up inside, hating him, cheating him, betraying him? Or was she someone he loved, someone he needed, wanted back? All these questions, and he didn't know the answer to one of them... Except the first. He did like his two "nurses," he had called them. But they were growing on him now. They weren't just nurses, they were more than that. They were like... Very close friends. Even closert than that. A crush. A small crush, maybe more on one than the other, but he didn't know who that one was. They were both sweet, gentle... They probably wouldn't betray him like Indigo did.

Then Ash spoke again. Meaningless stuff about his fate. "Fate is a stupid fantasy you believe in, and destiny is something that is set up for you before you are born. There. Period." Stellar felt like turning around and running. But there was something there that kept him there, glued him to the spot. An urge. Maybe to get his feelings out. To tell Ash that he didn't care anymore... But he did care. he cared about Indigo... Just not the way he used to. Not anymore.

[Ash Firestar]

"You and I have a rendevous with destiny"

Ash frowned, "No, that is definitely not what I mean," Ash denied Stellar, "I meant, that you hate me." He said that which such an emotionless tone, that he even suprized himself. And he didn't do that too often. Maybe this encounter was about to change how he looked at everything. Maybe Stellar would like him a little less. Ash would understand if Stellar disliked him, he'd been through a lot. He just wanted this tom to see that the world isn't about to end.

"Hmm," Ash mewed in a distant, thoughtful tone. If Stellar was right, if your life was already planned before you were born, didn't that mean that maybe, just maybe, Stellar was meant for somebody else? Maybe Stellar still had somebody to seek and love and be with forever. "Shhh...I'm having an epiphony!" He whispered, just barely loud enough so that Stellar might be able to hear if he was listening hard enough. This was meant for Ash himself. "One more question," Ash was determined to understand what Stellar thought about, is destiny steering you, or is it guiding you?" He tilted his head again and his face crumpled in a complete thinking mode.

Ok, so, according to Stellar; destiny is something planned out before you were born. Ash thought, grinning with ambition, Then, Stellar's life has already been planned out for him! Which means that Indigo maybe wasn't meant for him, if he isn't able to show him that he loves her, maybe that's a sign that he wasn't meant for her! Which means I'm free! Ash paused, yeah, try explaining that to Stellar without him going off on him! What if destiny is driving him towards somebody else? He had to ask him politely this.

"Stellar," he began, and swallowed hard, "if I tell you something...will you promise not to go off on me?" He blinked hard, trying to form words. "Would you promise to think about it before you yell at me that I'm wrong?"

[Stellar Snowpaw]

"Oh, well, in that case, you're right." Stellar almost smiled. But he kept himself from doing it. That would only start a fight. Then definetly no more Indigo. Ever. And if Stellar wanted a chance, he should probably be nice to Ash, no matter how hard it was. But the fury, the hate. It bruned up inside of Stellar. It had been bottled up for so long, he had to let it out. He had. He ahd let it out.

He stared at Ash, remarks running through his mind. Pictures, images of him fighting Ash, Ash returning to Indigo, and then Indigo coming to kill Stellar and Taro and Harbor. Such images he hoped would never come true. At least, not the last one. Indigo killing his two friends. More than friends, actually.

Ash and his questions. He remembered the first question he ahd asked him. "Do names matter?" It annoyed Stellar. Royally. And then to find out that he... Such things made Stellar burn again. But he retained himself from jumping on Ash.

"Destiny guides you." At least, that was what Stellar thought. There are times when you can chose to follow your destiny, and times when you can't... It's optional, Stellar thought. But... What if it wasn't?

"Only if you give Indigo back," Stellar said, almost in a kittish tone. He knew he probably shouldn't have joken around with such a comment, but he wanted to see how Ash would react.

[Ash Firestar]

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Ash let himself smile. Sadly, though, he wasn't happy. This was a mere polite smile. What if he shoots me? Ash wondered, Oh, wait, he can't use a gun. He doesn't have thumbs! He realized with a dumb look on his face. At Stellar's last comment, Ash was unsure of how Stellar meant it. But, he noted the kitt-ness of his voice and realized it might be a joke. "Not on your life!" Ash exclaimed with a i'm-joking-but-i'm-serious tone. Ash bit his lip. seriously unsure of how the angry tom would take this.

Stellar, Ash began, you must promise not to take this the wrong way..." The grey bengal shifted uneasily. "I'm just putting it out there," Ash took a breath and began.

"If it is true that you believe that destiny is something that is set up before you are born, and it is guiding you, kind of like a God..." Ash's voice trailed as he stumbled over words. "That means that your life has already been planned out for you! Which means that the choices you make were anticipated! Which means that if you and Indigo's fight was maybe a sign...that you two weren't meant for eachother?" Ash was on a roll. "You can only truely love somebody you can stand to laugh and joke with and be friends with for more than ten minutes!" Ash exclaimed, looking down at his paws. "Since the fight, you two are unable to talk with eachother really, that means that it is not true love!" Ash stepped back a couple of inches. "Just hear me out, Stellar. Maybe, just maybe, there is still somebody out there for you. Whether she may be inches from your face or undiscovered, she's still out there."

Ash exhaled, feeling good about his epiphony. He looked at Stellar's face, wondering what he would think. "Maybe the kits were a sign that you two were still meant to be friends," Ash said in a whisper, "I honestly have no problem with you seeing them...Indigo on the other hand..." Ash looked at the bush to his left, wondering if Stellar would slash his face. "Don't get mad, just think about it, and then react. With words

[/u],"[/b] he stressed the last part for good reasons.
[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Wait, what? Fight! There was no "fight!" It was Indigo hurting Indigo telling Stellar to mate with her. Not Stellar fighting with Indigo to let him matre with her. Who told Ash such strange things? If it was Indigo...

"What 'fight'?!" Stellar spoke his thoughts. "There was no fight! All it was was Indigo telling me she loved me, then saying that she couldn't leave you because she couldn't do that to another tom. Then she said if we couldn't spend the rest of our lives together, then we coud have at least one night. She convinced me..." Stellar sighed. This was the hardest part of the story to tell. The part that hurt him the most. The part he wished had never happened, then, perhaps, Indigo would still be there, or at least still talk to him. "She told me to..."

What would convince Ash that he didn't want to mate with Indigo? But he did. He wanted it so badly, he was shaking as Indigo spoke the soft words into his ears that night. Having each other just one night. Not wanting "this to be good-bye." Why? Why had she left him running, in such a miserable heap? Suffering terribly for not... For not having her there anymore. Not having that Indigo he had known far longer than Ash. The Indigo he had, and still, loved. That Indigo seemed to dissappear.

Stellar's thoughts went back to trying to find a word. "Ash... She told me to..." A tear streamed down his tabby cheek. Why was this so hard?! It was just a word! But what if this word changed everything for Indigo, made Ash so angry that... That... That Indigo wouldn't have anyone anymore? He closed his eyes, wiped his cheek on his foreleg. But when he opened them to speak again, new, salty tears ran out. He would have to cry as he spoke, no matter how hard it was for him to show such weakness before this silver tabby.

"She told me that to m-m-mate with her. She wanted it so bad, I had to defer." He didn't say the rest. Ash knew the rest. And if not, he knew the outcome, at least.

"If you think you've been hurt, you're wrong. I had been with her, happy, before you came along. And. And then she met you and. And then it all went downhill." Stellar was shaking a little now. Then a new thought. The kits. He had never thought that Indigo wouldn't want him seeing them. Why not? What would he do?

"May I ask why?" he asked, in a hiss. A curious his, demanding a truthful answer. "Have they been brainwashed also? Hmm?"

[Ash Firestar]

Ash watched Stellar carefully, trying to judge his moves. The tiniest thing might set him off, Ash shuffled his paws nervously. A horror-struck expression spread over his face. Stellar started to tell him there was no fight. Huh? Fight? A disagreement then? He and Indigo hadn't really talked about the whole mate-with-stellar experience. He was planning on it the next time he got a chance. Ash had just assumed that there was a fight.

The grey tom adjusted his position. "There wasn't?" Ash asked lowering his eyes to his paws. He listened, that was weird. Hm..odd. He could see how hurt Stellar was, the pain this story caused him. Ash smoothed a spot with his paw and looked up slightly, staring at Stellar's chest. "Indigo and I haven't really...talked..." He looked at Stellar's face, how deranged it was. Ash cringed away, "Well, we haven't talked about that yet, we were just focused on kits..." Ash studdered and returned his gaze to the ground.

He realized what pain Indigo had caused Stellar. She asked to mate with him? Ash was offended. He knew that Indigo had sort of 'left' Stellar there, after telling him there was nothing. How could she live with herself after that? A burning flame welded up inside of him as his gaze hardened. "She shouldn't have done that..." He mumbled to himself.

Ash winced a little bit as Stellars harsh words slashed through him. He looked up, "Stellar, I realize now what she did to you. But, once you have walked in my paws...you don't know pain like I have!" He shot back harshly as a bunch of old memories went through his mind...
Sometime between when I was six months of age and my first birthday, my mother decided to do away with those treacherous humans. She became a stray, which meant that I had to live with my dad twenty-four-seven. My sister got worse, she always got the biggest of the prey, the biggest space…I think you get the point. I was always given the smallest, my mother was through standing up for me and she had the scars to prove it (That’s right, my dad abused her. Who said only humans abuse?). But there was one night that she lost it, me as well.

We were all eating, except me. There wasn’t enough food for me, only my mother, Violet, and dad of course. I sat with my head hanging in depression. I felt like I had lost my voice, I hadn’t spoken in a few months. Because, quite frankly, it didn’t make any difference at all. I glanced at my mother, burning in fury. “JASPER!” She shouted, I shook my head at her, “DON’T TREAT ASH LIKE THIS! HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT!” She bared her teeth. “What the heck has your son done to you to make you so mad? To make you abuse him and me and treat both of us like slaves!” She glared hard and long into her mate’s eyes with no compassion what-so-ever for him.
“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT CINDER FIRESTAR!” He used her last name before she mated with him. I had never heard it, but I loved it. “He did not do anything to me, but to our dear Violet.”
“He didn’t do anything, Jasper Cedarwood!” She hissed at him.
“Oh yeah, he hasn’t been nice to her one time!”
“Of course not, he hasn’t had a chance to!”
He stayed silent for a moment, and then he hissed and slashed across her face with his deathly claws. She fell to the ground with tears flowing from her eyes. She motioned with her beautiful tail to come to me. “Ash, honey, please go,” she pleaded.
“No, mom. I’m not leaving you…” He stared into her pretty blues with concern, “I can’t trust him.”
“No matter what happens to me, I always loved you,” she licked her dry lips, “I believe it’s time for both of us to go our separate ways.”
“I know,” I whispered then turned to Jasper. “You foul-mouthed mongrel!” I shouted, “YOU DOG!” I ran at him and tackled him, slashing at his face and any body part I could scratch. “YOU NEVER LOVED HER!” He growled. “YOU NEVER LOVED ME!” I felt hot, salty water flowing down my cheeks. “YOU KILLED YOUR MATE!” I knew it was true, mom had her last straw. She had her last breath, and she was happy to know that she had somebody to love, her son. I think she heard my fighting and was pleading for me to stop like she always had. “I HATE DOGS!” I hissed and slashed one more time at his face and I struck gold. I got off of my bloody father and ran into the night.

And another one, much harsher flashed through his mind.

When we reached the pound, Heather explained that the pound had four rooms, one for first day arrivals, another for second day cats, and a third for final day cats. I think you can guess what the fourth room was for. “Where are you from, Ash?” Heather asked, suddenly curious in my past.
“I’m from a small town.”
“Which one?”
“You know, I honestly have no idea,” I shrugged and paced around the cage.
“That’s um…interesting. What were your parents like?”
“My dad was a retard and my mother was a wonderful she-cat.”
“Nice,” she giggled. “Any siblings?”
“A stuck-up-brat-of-a-sister.”
“Sweet!” She smiled. “I didn’t have any parents.”
“I’m sorry,” I mewed sympathetically.
“Don’t be, they weren’t cool enough for me. That’s why they left.”
“S-“ I stopped myself, “Cool.”
“I know.” She smiled, showing her sharp teeth.

We stayed in the pound for two days. We talked for hours on end. We found out everything about each other. She told me I was the bravest tom she’d ever met, I recoiled that with, “Yeah, but I should have done that earlier.” She said back, “But you weren’t ready.” I smiled.
“I was always ready. I just wasn’t brave enough.”
“Ash,” she laughed once, “You weren’t old enough, let’s put it that way, shall we?”
“Yeah, that works…” my voice faded as I thought about Winter.

I heard the door open and I turned my eyes to it. I saw a man walk in. He looked ever-so familiar. “Listen, Heather, if I get adopted today, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” The man walked by my pen and stopped and looked at me. I looked into his eyes.
“You too,” She mewed, licking my forehead in a friendly way. The man picked me up.
“Alvin, is it really you?” He said, I mewed softly. “IT IS!” He shouted a triumphant laugh.
“Ash, you psychic tom, you!” Heather called to me.
I laughed, “I just had a feeling. He’s easy to get away from.” She laughed too.
“I wish I could come with you, Ash Firestar!” She mewed sadly.
“You know I wish so as well.”
“Yeah. I guess we all have a destiny, eh?”
“Aye, that we do.”
I frowned, she was going to die. That was her last day there...

A small tear strayed down his cheek, but Ash quickly wiped it away before Stellar had a chance of seeing it. Ash glared hard at Stellar, "I don't know if Indigo wants to talk to you, because aparently you said some things too and she didn't like them!" He hissed back. He frowned, "Sorry, I went off. I'm upset from a few flashbacks..." He looked down, biting his lip.