ALL a l o n e WITH m e m o r i e s

[Stellar Snowpaw]

A small brown tabby tom crept over the trash. His eyes were glued to the ground, making sure he wouldn't step on anything to harm him more than he had already been harmed. He was here again. He cursed under his breath. Not here. Too many memories were hidden here, too many sweet, yet sad memories. He would never forgive himself for what he had done, and said, here. He dropped down to his knees, laying his head on the carpet of trash that was strewn about him.

This was what his heart felt like. Garbage, useless. Unwanted. Not cared for. A pile of worthless crap. And no one cared. No one. And he was sick of it. He had no one. She was gone. She had his kits. She made him feel loved and then ripped him up all over again. She hated him. He cursed again, wincing as he pulled up his scarred foot to his side. What had happened to him?

He had gone through so much already, and now he was ripped up even more by those... dogs. Those uncaring things that tore into him. He didn't say anything. He was in such a state he didn't care. She was gone, what did he have to live for? He gotten so far. He loved her. She was gone. She was gone... Gone. Gone like everything else he had ever known. She was gone as fast as she had come up to him. As fast as her warm scent had dissapeared. He sighed. Memories. Memories he would hold forever, no matter how much they ripped into him. As long as he mantained some sort of happiness, he would survive.

He had to get her out of his mind. He had to if he wanted to be happy again. To have some sort of joy in his life that didn't revolve around seeing her again. He would have to. It would hurt so much. It would hurt as bad as that night, mating with her.

The tom felt wrath burn up inside him. She was gone! Why did he have to keep telling himself that?! He couldn't bring her back by thinking it over and over again. She was gone. Gone forever. She loved Ash. He was a peice of crap now. Nothing. He wasn't anything to her. Nothing.

"Anything to have her back," he told himself, a tear running down his mud-stained face. He rolled onto his back. Anything. He would do anything to have Indigo back, Back to his side. For him to cherish. For him to love again. And not just for one night. Forever. Forever, like it was supposed to be. Until Ash... Stellar despised the very name. He had taken Indigo. Away from Stellar. He was the one who had caused all this. He caused this emotional state he was in. This uncaring, unloving mode that cost him everything.

He couldn't do anything anymore. Nothing. He couldn't laugh, he couldn't smile... He couldn't even cry without seeing her in his mind. He had done all that with her. Smile, laugh... Share. Hunt. Fish. Everything. And now Ash was probably doing that with her. With Indigo. With his Indigo.

He growled. He was getting too far in thought. He was shaking with anger. His eyes flooded with tears. They pushed their way out of his eyes, onto his cheeks. They flooded down. He was crying. Crying for all the times he had wanted to. He would cry. He would cry until he could see her without burning with hatred for the one who stood beside her. He would cry until he was gone.

Ash. he thought. I'll kill Ash. I don't care if I'll never have Indigo. He'll be gone. And I'll be happy. That bastard that took MY Indigo away. My Indigo. His eyes still streamed with tears. He looked at the sky. Something told him it wouldn't be right.

"I won't be happy again unless I do it," he told himself. "But will it do anything? Will it make me happy?" Stellar shook his head. No... It wouldn't. It would bring him lower. Lower than he had ever been... And farther away from Indigo... And the kits.

The kits. Were there any kits? This was the first time he had thought about them. Were there kits? Or was it just something that made this worse? He felt like screaming inside. There were so many things to make this situation worse. So many things to tear his heart apart. And yet they kept on coming. Indigo telling him she loved him, then telling him to mate with her, and then telling him she practically hated him... Then the kits. And Ash.

It just goes to show how stupid he was and how ignorrant he was of the results. He should have looked out, into the future, before doing so many stupid things. He was stupid. Stupid for caring. Stupid for trying. For loving.

[taro]

Overhearing the rough situation with the young brute, she stumbled forward, wondering if she could be of any help. Her dark pelt hid with the shadows of the tree, but her golden eyes were hit with the sun's beam. Ducking to hide her face from the sun, she hurried forward. The brute was sitting alone, a depressing look apon his mask.

His green eyes were on the ground, not lifting even when leaves crunched on the ground. The she-cat duck her head, trying to catch his eye, unable to do so, she just sighed, hoping to catch his attention. Her paws fell on more leaves as she grew closer, and the leaves did so to her as well. The oak above them dropped its leaves, the Autumn winds pressuring them down.

Excuse me? Her voice was soft, not wanting to frighten the cat, but already pretty sure he knew she was here. She cleared her voice, for, it had cracked when she spoke the few words. Without even thinking about what she was doing, she sat down and rolled onto her back. Blinking her golden optics slowly, she gazed into the brown tom's.

Is everything alright? She stumbled with her words, unsure of what to say. It looks as if you are troubled; is there anything I could help with? Her voice ended in the question, she you could tell with the sound. Deep understanding blazed in her eyes; she had definately been depressed before, and it was not fun. Although this femme was still young, she understood alot, and had much to give to the world.

Blinking her optics slowly, she waited for the tom's response, not knowing his personality. She'd never met this cat before, which wasn't strange because she had only just arived in this little town. She twitched her banner from side to side, brushing leaves from her path. By the tail twitching wasn't of impatience or anger, this femme was known for how patient and nice she was. But it was a sign of friendship for her, she wanted to seem interested to this cat, and attempt to be friendly.

I found a place so safe, not a single ^{t e a r}
The first time in my life and now it's so ^{c l e a r}

[sorcha]

Harbor was waiting in the shadows for someone to move--it didn't matter who. She kept trying to scuttle away with a typical scowl on her black-patched face, deep into the endless piles of sun-baked plastic and smelly rubber tires to locate some food for the evening which didn't smell of synthetic mess. Harbor attempted forcing her paws to swivel on their pads, and make march her away from the familiar scene, to pick themselves gingerly over beer-stained broken glass with her stuffed-up nose held high. And yet... for whatever reason the tortie continued to invade the young tom's privacy with her yellow eyes alone, pupils wide with the shadows in which she stowed herself. Maybe he'd go away and she could continue her scavenging in peace without silly little memories festering beneath her spotted scalp.

"Anything to have her back" were the first words she'd paid attention to, made her aware of that tabby's prescence, and kept her rooted to the spot, even one foot frozen on a cold, sharp Coke can. A reluctant flash of gold passed before her opts and feelings of both warm childishness and that cold, cold, empty sorrow akin only to purest hunger. It was a happy memory, that one, or at least it was supposed to be...

Bah, what do I care? she thoguht bitterly, but with guilt pumped into her heart. She'd cared when it happened to her. Maybe she should be kind... go offer him some sympathy? But, of course they'd never met. He knew nothing about her, nor she him, nor did she want to know. To be social was intimidating for Harbor as it always, always, always ended poorly. When she could Ms. Spitthorns preferred staring always from the shadows even as she did so now.

Excuse me? Oh good, someone was calling him! But relief only flooded the she-cat's tiny body for a moment, as the new stranger quickly appeared from behind the one thing which managed to grow in this wretched Plutonian dwelling: a good, strong oak who's leaves fell akin to the tom's green eyes on the Town Dump floor. Her--for it was another she--eyes glowed gold like a fantasmically pure heart which did not occur in nature as she asked, "Is everything alright? It looks as if you are troubled; is there anything I could help you with?

'Alright, conscience, lay off. He's got help now, can't I just go away? the cranky cat pleaded with herself. Consciences were annoying stuff, however--especially her own--and stubborn as the devil himself. It kept Harbor stiff and lurking till she submitted and moved forward narrowly missing the rusted faucet between her and the coversing two.

(ooc: ^^ might I join in?)

[taro]

^{OOC: Of coarse you may!}

The fae's head swung around, facing the new scent that had arived. Narrowing her eyes she could just make out a shadow and sunlight pelt among the piles of carrion. You there, quit spying, and choose whether you want to stay or leave! The sassy sidee to this pretty kitty came fast, and the words escaped her mouth before she could even think about it.

Rolling out from beneath the sad brute, she stalked over to the tortioseshell femme, orbs still narrowed. But instead of being edgy and mean, like this fae might have guessed, she was curious and ruthfull. She dipped her head in gretting, a smile almost crossing her face as she did so. Hello, Her voice still had a cheeky tint to it, but it was fairly normal. My name is Taro Dewleaf; you would be? She didn't wait for her reply, she merely turned her back on the spying cat, and hurried back to the dismalled tom.

Taro raised her head, and with her orbs narrowed by the bright sun's ray, she yet awaited the brutes reply again. Even though these few happenings seemed to have occur in nearly an hour, it only took place in a little over a minute. She looked back to the cat she had asked the almost retorical question to; the cat hadn't moved. Shruggin to herself, Taro turned her mask back to the brute, not really caring much about the new cat.

Taro really just wanted to help this poor tom out, and do him some favors by helping him talk about it. She learned that talking and explaining every detail of what happened, even to people you don't know well or even trust, will really actually help you.

Nothing real love can't ^{u n d o}
And though I may have lost my ^{w a y}
All paths lead straight to ^{y o u}

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Things can change ever so quickly. One minute, Stellar was thinking, thinking about Indigo, and the kits, and Ash. The next, there was a fea, someone to talk to, at his side, asking what was ailing him. If only she knew. Then he wouldn't have to go through every detail.

He wouldn't. He would let out little facts, portions of the puzzle of the whole thing between him, Ash, and Indigo. The whole painful thing would hurt him way too much.

"Everything. Love sickness, betrayal, a broken heart... Everything..." He sighed, looking up at the fea. She was beautiful... Though it didn;t make him lust after her as Indigo's did... Though no beauty could appeal to him more than Indigo. He sighed again. His eyes flickered shut before hearing something else walking to the place where they stood.

The scent wafted into his nose. Another fea. Was he putting up a sign or something? Maybe he should? "Please, leave alone. Lovesick, heart-broken, not wanting any company. GOOD BYE!" But he couldn't say that. It would be too mean, too unlike him. He would have to stay and talk.

Thinking the declaration of the name was directed towards him, he put out his. "I'm Stellar Snowpaw." He licked his paw, a mangled thing that wasn't fit to be called a paw, really. His back was covered in mud, caked on with days, weeks of running away.. Running in a circle. Because that one night, when he left Indigo in the dump, he ran. He ran as fast as he could, tearing flooding down his cheeks in sorrow... Defeat. Hatred. Regret. He ran for days, hunting here and there. And then he came back here. On accident, really. He didn't wish to be here. To many memories.

"Nothing you can do," he whispered, the tears starting again. "She l-loves A-A-Ash. H-he t-took her from m-m-me." He stuttered with sorrow, pure shame. He wished, but like the humans said, you can wish in one hand and spit int he other, see which one fills up faster. He had heard the farmer say that, and it was a joke he and his family threw around. Now it was pure reality. Sick, painful reality.

Reality could burn. He hated reality. He hated everything in his life now, everything that happened. Everything. His meeting Indigo, them courting, and then this. This thing that pulled at his skin, wanting to rip him to shreds. He wouldn't let it. He had to be strong. He would see his kits. Even if he had to go through Ash. That silver tabby that ruined his life.

His tail was curled around his side. He looked at it. Some hair was missing. The stripes were hard to find against the mud-caked, light colored fur. He wondered what his eyes looked like.

"She t-t-told me to mated with h-h-her. Then she tells me how much she l-l-loves h-h-h-him. And then she tells me that they will l-l-love each other for the rest of eternity." He was crying, shaking with anger, fury, wrath. "She has my kits. Mine. And she will raise them with h-h-him. He stole her." He was still shaking, though more furiusly now.

[taro]

Taro listened with interest, but it faded away as the story fell in place. This cat, Stellar, had had a really hard life, especcially the past few days. His vivid opts had red lines through them and were turning darker by the minute because of the crying he had done. Taro was about to cry herself, she had never heard such a disturbing, stressing story.

Now, now, Her voice was kitten soft, trying to sooth the tom, although she was younger than him by a few moons. She wiped her paw across his face, soaking up the tears with her thick fur. Everything will be ok, you just need some rest, and definately some time. Time to think; to think about what to do with your future. Will you return to... Closing her eyes hard, she tried to remember if Stellar had spoken the she-cat's name.

[/b]To the femme, or will you forget about her and continue on with life like that. I'm not telling you to answer me now, I just merely stating that it might be a good thing to think about...

She spotted the dried mud along the brute's spine. Shivering in disgust she turned back to see his eyes. How about you get some sleep. I'll get you clean when you do that, I don't know how you can stand that dried mud pastered onto you like that. Another ripple through her body.

She got right too work, not really caring whether the tom cat cared if she cleaned him or not. This cat wasn't about to fall apart over this, and Taro would make sure of it. She nodded to herself as she started her licking. The mud didn't taste good, but at least it was coming off. When it got thin enough, Taro would rub her paws on it, her claws unsheathed, and pull on it. The mud would fall helplessly off, and she would start on the next blotch.

This went on for awhile, but soon she stopped. The mud was all off, and his fur was clean. Well, it wasn't clean clean, but at least it looked better with the mud off. Taro worked on trying to make it glossy for awhile, but there were knots in the fur from the forgotten washes. Or maybe it wasn't that he forgot, maybe he just didn't care any more...

Taro didn't want to wake Stellar, if he was even sleeping at all, so she just set back and waited. It was quiet and peaceful, and Taro almost fogot about the tortie cat that had appeared earlier. Was she still here? Taro gazed over to the area where the cat had first been sighted, sure enough the cat was over there, and she hadn't moved a muscle. Hadn't it been an hour? Maybe not; maybe it had only been a minute or two, but it sure felt like a whole hour had passed.

Swirling shades of ^{b l u e}
Slow dancing in your ^{e y e s}
Sun kisses the ^{e a r t h}
And I hush my urge to ^{c r y}

[/blockquote]

[sorcha]

Taro. The tortie could've mewed "nice to meet you" or at least "hello"... but Harbor didn't want to—it wasn’t her way of doing things. Anyways, the opportunity to do so passed before the she-cat could step out of her insecurity; this Taro girl turned back to the tabby cat, who... muttered something Harbor couldn't understand. But she did get that he probably was crowded by now with three cats in the clearing. The wind whistled cheerlessly behind him over the trash bags, sending nervous scraps flying through the air. "I'm Stellar Snowpaw,

[/i]" said the muddy tom as uncomfortably as the tortoiseshell felt. He licked a messy, mangy-looking paw.

Geez, she sneered hypocritaclly, People have weird names out here... Finally, though, in this moment Harbor’s competitive side kicked in. If they could tell her their names, why couldn’t Harbor? She could, that’s what—she could and she would. So forcing her body to move, the small tortoiseshell padded into the sunlight with hesitations clinging to every step. She'd only gone a tail-length from the shadow before exposing herself to the other two cats. A moment passed, and she shifted uncomfortably. "Spitthorns" the tortoiseshell grumbled, keeping her austere gaze leveled irritatedly at the garbage-strew floor where her self-confidence was clearly dispersed. With a distrustful look on her face, Harbor faintly eyed the pair before her, their brown pelts matching what little beauty the weather provided."Er, I mean, Harbor. Harbor Spitthorns is my name." She glanced at the tom, and in a moment of boldness sighed, "So what's your story, tom?" However, her insecurities were not allowed long to simmer beneath black patches. This Stellar fellow must have been even more desolate than she'd thought.

"Nothing you can do," he whispered, the tears starting again. "She l-loves A-A-Ash. H-he t-took her from m-m-me.[/i]" Harbor let her suspicions drop and stared at him wide-eyed, almost disrespectfully so even if this was not her intention.
She began to wonder just how much the tom was truly holding in.

"She t-t-told me to mated with h-h-her. Then she tells me how much she l-l-loves h-h-h-him. And then she tells me that they will l-l-love each other for the rest of eternity." He was shaking, almost spastically, looking as if his stripes would wriggle of his back at any moment and he simply couldn’t stop. Or… almost as if he didn't want to. "She has my kits. Mine. And she will raise them with h-h-him. He stole her."

"Now, now,[/i]" spoke the brown cat softly, and she wiped a paw across his face, soaking up a few of his shuddering tears."Everything will be ok, you just need some rest, and definately some time. Time to think; to think about what to do with your future. Will you return to... to the femme, or will you forget about her and continue on with life like that. I'm not telling you to answer me now, I just merely stating that it might be a good thing to think about...[/i]" Now Taro paused, then began to clean him up, wiping his fur of the grime, the muck which Harbor had not yet noticed before, for whatever reason. It’s a wonder she had not, for Stellar was covered with nature’s filth.

He looked like he hadn’t had a good wash in days; it was revolting to look at, now that she’d seen it. Well, that much I can help fix, she thought to herself, which was good since without a bit of convincing she’d have left poor Stellar alone. A curt puff of air through her nose was all the protest Harbor needed before she only somewhat begrudgingly took up station as Taro’s assistant, trying to get Stellar clean. A clean paw later and she quipped, “Tears might help us wash up that disgusting face of yours, anyhow, if you got any left that need crying.” Her stony countence jerked up into an awkward smile from lack of use. "Don't mind us."

However, it didn't take long for Harbor to decide cleaning the desolate tom up was really a one-person job. Taro was getting really into her work, and probably didn't even notice the second she-cat slip away, stalking into the evening. Why? Well, she was starving, of course. Food always makes one feel better about the world, so the tortoiseshell set off to dig some up. Of course she didn't really think about it or would've quickly talked herself out of the idea, but twenty minutes and dozens of piles of disgusting, man-made, pure crap with reduced fat she stumbled upon a carcass chicken bones someone's family had eaten about a week ago, bones still in tact. Marrow was good... or at least Harbor liked it anyway. So the tortoiseshell trotted back to Stellar and Taro where she'd last seen them, bones in her teeth. Hesitantly she padded towards them, intimidated by the idea of sharing her precious meal, an action she hadn't taken since her own kits were teething seven months ago before they'd been snatched away from her. But she lay it down in an approximate middle between them all and cracked the leg bone with her teeth, making a rather nasty crunching noise. Swishing out the fragments of bone between her many yellow canines, Harbor licked up a bit of the marrow within, and almost gobbled the whole thing in one bite. Not knowing how to hunt, such an offering was a true sacrifice for her. The other could not have known this about Harbor, but she indicated that they might do as she did and have some if they like, and was prepared to glare pointedly at Stellar if he refused. "My God, it's a cat," she jested, "I never would've guessed the way you looked before. Taro's cleaned you up real good." Harbor eyed him for a moment. "Actually you're kind of cute." She took a bite into another bit of bone. "Not my type, though; I've never been that into tabbies," the tortoiseshell added after a moment, to clarify the statement as a compliment. Bayham, now that she'd thought about it, had been a tabby as well, though. But friendships alone were scary enough for Harbor.[/blockquote]

(ooc: *sigh* I keep messing up my bbcode, sorry about the edit.)

[taro]

_{OOC: wow, nice long post.}

Her opts flickered sideways, and her tail flipped in disgust. This cat got annoying, Taro could clean this cat up on her own, she didn't need help. But she didn't bother asking for her to leave, because soon she left on her own. It was awhile before she came back, but by then Taro had finished. The all too familiar smell of chicken rose in the air, and it had wafted to her scent glands and made her heart flutter. Taro hadn't realized until now how hungry she was, and Stellar was probably hungry as well.

She rose to her paws, stretched, and then trotted over to Harbor. Are we sharing that? Good. The sassy side to Taro's personality kicked in, and she tore a peice of the meat off. Striding back to where she had started, she once again sat down, but this time started eating. The chicken leg was good, but it had a bit of an aged taste.

Once finished she rose once again, still hungry but only wanting for that was live. She scurried around, catching no sign of any living creature on this side o the trash dump. Quickly she raced across the sandy feild, soon ariving the opposite side. Surprisingly she spotted a mouse. Its little legs were pelting around the stocked depris. Before it could go much farther, Taro pinpointed her jump, then struck her victom. After killing it with a bite to the neck, she carried it back to the resting enclosure.

Using the agile bodice she had, she ate up the mouse, but yet set out to find more. But this time it wasn't for her, it was for Stellar. He wasn't in any condition to hunt, so she would do it for him. Stellar and her needed a long talk, and she would get one after he awakens.

Taro saw a rat digging in the piles of dirt, but it didn't look safe enough to eat. Its fur was matted and grey, full of dirt and droppings. And although she was at least 10 fox-lengths away, she could smell it putrid odor from there easily. She snorted in disgust, and quickly walked away, wanting to get away from the nasty rodent as fast as she possibly could.

More rats were seen, but that was not what she was looking for. She didn't care whether it was a squirrel or mouse, a snake or a bird, she wouldn't let this greiving cat eat that junk. So she set off further. After what felt like 10 minutes, she smelled a squirrel, it wasn't in the junkyard, and it was outside of the fence, but Taro thought she could get it. She darted forward, and jumped as high as she possibly could. She landed on the chainlink fence about 4 feet up, which was high for how short her legs are, and she climbed the rest of the way up. After another 2 feet of the fence, it ended. Taro jumped down, and her paws made a thud when they hit the ground.

The squirrel must have heard it, because now it was racing towards the trees. But Taro was quick, she ran as fast as she possibly could, getting herself a foot behind the brown rodent. She slapped her paw down, it landed on the squirrels tail, and with the help of her claws Taro held it down. She slashed it a couple times, then stepped on its spine, which broke its neck. Finally happy, she headed back to their setup. She swiftly climbed the fence, and raced back.

Taro was surprised to see that the tortie was still here, and her orbs widened with surprise. She glanced down at the brute, and she couldn't tell if he was sleepig and just resting with his eyes closed. But she prodded him on his shoulder, making sure to do it softly as not to startle him. I've brought you some prey. It's a squirrel, do you want it?

And I can't keep ^{g o i n g}
But I cannot start ^{a g a i n}

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Stellar was grateful, truly he was. But this friendliness, almost slightly love, made him almost... angry. He didn't need any help, really. He had come here on accident. But he couldn't refuse this... It would sound too stuck-up.

He was a bit shocked when the young femme ran her paw over his face, drying it of tears. It was almost like his mother's touch... So tender and loving. He almost sighed, though it might've sounded rude and the femme would run.

"Her name is Indigo... Indigo Wintertrap. Though now she's probably Indigo Firestar... Or whatever the blasted tom's last name is." He felt like screaming all the curse words in the word out loud out of pure hatred of the tom. But... Not very nice.

"How about you get some sleep. I'll get you clean when you do that, I don't know how you can stand that dried mud pastered onto you like that."

[/i] Stellar looked up at her with sleepless eyes that soon fluttered to a close, a sleepy close that brought him into a light slumber. Almost ever touch of the paw from the two femme's brought his mind to Indigo, and he opened his eyes and looked around, her name escaping his lips.

When he slept, he dreamed about Indigo. She was coming back, with the kits. No Ash. Just her and his kits. He didn't know what the kits looked like, so they were blurred. Everything around Indigo was blurred, except her. Her beautiful body, her eyes... Her beautiful coat, shimmering in the smudged sunlight. She smiled, then ran toward him, her eyes bright with happiness.

"I'm sorry, Stellar." she said, licking his ear. "I'm sorry for leaving you. It was wrong. I love you."

The words, even if not being true, tore through Stellar, almost as if Indigo was right beside him, speaking into his ear... Like that night. His dream switched to that night. That night where they mated.

"... we'll love each other for the rest of forever." Indigo had said it. She had said it as seriously as he had said he loved her. And then she tore him up, threw him to the wind, and he ran. Torn. He was torn into a million pieces, and he had no one to pick him up. No one to put him together with love... No one.

His eyes jumped open when he heard Taro coming toward him. She brought a squirrel, he could tell even before she said it. The smell wafted into his nostrils. His mouth watered. He didn't say anything, but then she said it was for him. He felt loved. Loved again. Though... For know she was just his nurse. Nursing him back before he went to find Indigo. To tell her that he still loved her, even though she said all that... And even though he said he "wouldn't be here for her to love." He still loved her. As much as she said she hated him, he loved her. He couldn't hate her. It was impossible.

His mind went back to Taro and Harbor - at least that's what he thought he heard in his sleep. "You didn't have too, Taro. I can hunt." He looked down at the squirrel at his feet. "But thanks, it was very nice of you."

Eating this squirrel made his mind flash back. Back to the time when he was with Indigo. He had hunted for her. He had said he wasn't hungry and gave it to her. And know she had to hunt for herself and the kits... What did Ash do? Where was Ash? He hadn't smelled him or saw him for a long time. Maybe he was gone... But then Indigo would come back... At least that was what he thought. What he hoped.

"Actually you're kind of cute." Stellar's skin flushed under his fur, but it didn't show in his voice.

"Thanks... You're quite the charm, too, I must say. I haven't seen many Tortuous shells around here. You're my first, actually."[/blockquote]

[taro]

You didn't have too, Taro. I can hunt.....But thanks, it was very nice of you. His voice sounded nice, but Taro knew that he shouldn't have hunted for imself. He needed the rest, especially with what happened between him, Indigo, and Ash. No problem, it was my pleasure, you need the rest. She nodded as she spoke, but soon backed up as the tortie and Stellar came into a conversation.

Taro trailed off into her own world as the two aquantances spoke. She thought about how much it would hurt her of she had fallen in love with a cat. How much it would hurt her if she had kittens with this cat but he had pushed her away. If the tom had left her for a different femme, one that was a stranger to her but she already hated him. Taro gritted her teeth with hatred, and suddenly felt what was flaring up in Stellars mind probably at most times of the day. What would happen if Ash had left? Would Indigo come back to him? Taro hoped so. She felt bad for the tabby tom, and wanted to help him in any way. There was no way she would let herself fall in love with this cat, and she would make sure of that. If Stellar came to love either Harbor or herself, it would tear him to peices. He would probably worry all night, afraid of one of them leaving him. Taro shook her bicolored head, and closed her glossy golden orbs. She stayed like this for awhile, not wanting to think about hurt any longer.

Minutes passed before the opts on Taro's mask reopened. She sighed, but breathed in deeply again after. Holding her breath, she turned to Stellar wanting to ask him a question, but not really knowing how. Stellar? She waited for the brute to turn his head. Do you think... She trailed off, picturing her question in her head. Do you think Indigo would come back? To you I mean... If Ash left her? She had no clue what his responce would be, so all she could do was wait and see.

Get out, leave, right ^{n o w}
It's the end of you and ^{m e}
It's too late, ^{n o w}
and I can't wait for you to be ^{g o n e}

^{OOC;; sorry, kinda short...}

[Stellar Snowpaw]

[sorry for the short post... x33]

i drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door.

Stellar smiled, then turned to the tortous shell. He waited, waited for any sound from her maw. Then the femme, the black one, Taro, spoke. He turned his head to her.

The question... A question he had asked many times in his head, to himself. And now someone else was asking it. Did she know what ahd happened? Had someone told her? Had she seen Indigo with Ash? The kits?

"I have asked myself that mnay times... She said Ash wasn't like that, though... I don't know." He looked at the ground. Was she asking this because she wanted to help him?

He looked back up at the femme. Then, an idea... A rude idea, and idea that would probably get Indigo to come back. He would ask Taro to get close to Ash, as Indigo had... Or maybe Stellar and Taro... No, that would hurt Taro too much if she actually started to love him. Having to leave her would be as hard as leaving Indigo that one night, leaving her to run to Ash. He sighed. All his plans had ended up with it hurting someone. He had to get a better one.

He looked up at Taro. "Do you know the situation? Have you seen Indigo and Ash together? Have you seen the kits?" He was a bit excited, though he had the thought that she hadn't seen them... All he could do was wait for her reply. Though it would probably be no. It was always no, now a-days. Always. Every question asked in his mind was replied to with "no." It was a typical thing now.

His mind drifted. Where was Indigo, the kits, Ash... What were they doing? He knew it was none of his business, but... They were his kits. He had a right to wonder. He had a right to look. Maybe. Maybe he would. He would look for his kits as soon as he was made well. And maybe he could bring the two feas along. Maybe that would do something, so he wouldn't have to travel alone. He would have company.

i've had you so many times but somehow i want more

lyrics: beauitful - maroon 5

[taro]

Ashamed by the brutes excitement, she looked to the ground. N-no... I'm sorry. I've don't even know who they are or what they look like. I've only ever met one other cat around here. As she neared the last of the sentences, she turned to face the excitement fading from his opts. Taro could only feel bad for him, and ashamed for having built up his excitement.

She craned her neck to look at the tortoiseshell fae. Her optics adjusted to the different lighting in the area Harbor was sitting in. Taro wondered what both cats were thinking. Was Stellar thinking about tracking down Ash? Or Indigo? What about Harbor? Was Harbor thinking about staying, or becoming closer with this cat?

What about Taro herself? Would she accompany Stellar if he did start tracking his only love? Would he want her to come with him? She sighed and a confused look spread across her face. Stellar, what are you planning to do? Are you going to track Ash down? And maybe try to reason with him, or... hurt him? She was worried that Stellar would take it the wrong way, but Taro couldn't picture this laid-back brown tabby doing anything to harm anyone.

Cocking her head to the side, she waited for him to answer. She didn't know how long it would take him to come up with a reply, so she rose to her paws. After grooming her ears and shoulders she starting toward a close by garbage pile. Taro, who was always in the mood for playing, grabbed a metal can, and flung it into the air. She wanted to have some fun, focus on the good things in life instead of the depressing. Carpe Diem The thought crossed her mind, and she remembered when her mother had told her that phrase. Seize the day! Making life the best it could be, living it to the fullest, that's what Taro liked to do.

The can hit the top of her head with a thud. Taro winced, bit continued playing. She hit it again and again with her front paws high into the air. She wondered if Harbor or Stellar would care to join her, so she aimed the can to the center of their resting spot. She looked at Harbor first, the she-cat hadn't had much need to be here, so she wondered if a nice game of kick-the-can would appeal to her. Something fun to do would really brighten the day, especially with what was going on with Stellar and his family. Before Harbor even moved, her gaze flung to the chestnut feral, and a welcoming lapse tried to lour him forward.

Seize the ^{d a y}
or die regretting the time you ^{l o s t}
It's empty and cold without you ^{h e r e}
too many people to ache ^{o v e r}

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Stellar winced as Taro said Ash's name. Her question brought small tears to his eyes. "There is no reasoning with Ash." Stellar sighed as he realized what he had just said. If it was true, than why did he keep on telling himself he would get Indigo back? He knew why, and as he thought it, he said it.

"I may have to kill him... Or at least try." He sighed, thinking. Then he shook his head quickly, as if to shake the thought away. "Indigo would hate me for it... It wouldn't do anything, either." He licked his paw, thinking, deep in thought. What could he do to have his beloved Indigo back. He couldn't steal her. He couldn't talk to Ash... he would never give Indigo up.

But Stellar had. He had given her up to that tom. That monster that brainwashed Indigo. That stole her... From him. Stellar looked down at his fur, all clean. Then, an idea. Possibly a good one. One that wouldn't mean having to hurt anyone. It would only hurt him, but he would be able to see the kits and Indigo one more time before... He didn't know.

"Have any idea where a mud puddle is? I have a plan." He got up, picking each foot up one by one before looking at Taro, eye to eye. She would help. He knew it.

[taro]

I may have to kill him... Or at least try. His words flew through her, he would kill another cat? Taro couldn't picture this tom doing anything to harm another cat. But his next words were even more surprising. A mud puddle? What would he need with a mud puddle? Taro shrugged to hiself, and then looked at Stellar.

I'm sorry, uh... um... no. I don't know exactly where a mud puddle is. But I'm sure there are plenty around here, there was a nice rainfall last night. She squinted her eyes as she gazed around the garbage piles. She flicked her tail, ordering Stellar to follow her. Before she went out on her mud quest, she looked over at Harbor. She gave her an uncalled-for glare, saying that she could come if she wanted to, bu she preferred her not to.

Turning her back on the tortoiseshell, she started off in the opposite direction the sun was setting. Her paws were rough on the bottom from all the walking she had done in the day. They hurt badly and Taro was surprised they weren't bleeding by now, especially with all the hard grounds ther were around.

She rounded the carrion dumpings, and gasped in happiness when she saw a long mud slide. Glancing backwards at Stellar she grinned widly, showing her ivory teeth. She raced forward, stopping herself in fron of the thick and sticky brown liquid. Turning to Stellar, she sat down, satisfied. Mud: Check! Smiling again, she laughed at her cheesy acting, her teeth were shown and she quickly put them away as she focused on the more important ideas. So, what else is needed for your working plan. She narrowed her orbs in a curious glare, and that raised her eyesbrows while licking her teeth.

Is it ^{p o s s i b l e}
there is a kiss that's so ^{d i v i n e}
Or am I just a fool, is it all in my ^{m i n d}

;;Speedy xoxo

[sorcha]

(ooc: whoa, sorry I’ve gotten so behind—school’s eating up all my time. *whines*^^)

Harbor seethed when she realized what Taro had left for, fury burning through her yellow eyes, now twin suns on the fiercest of summer days. It was a kind gesture, very kind actually, of her to go and hunt for Stellar—God knows real food would be better in his state. If she were able to hunt Harbor would most definitely prefer squirrel. But the tortoiseshell’s pride was deeply wounded, possibly a wound beyond repair as far as the brown cat went, which was sad as this particular offense was only of Harbor’s inequities. In a cat, though, pride runs deep, and in no way was this short-legged creature exceptional for any matter. Better arrogance than shame. It’s just how she was. Fortunately it was a big forest, and as she was likely not to see Taro again Harbor said nothing, swallowing her pride and did not lash out as was her custom. Maybe even as the evening unfolded Harbor could suck it up and move on—stranger things had happened since the humans had dropped her off. “Thanks... You're quite the charm, too, I must say.” Such as that. Harbor allowed her eyes to widen, shocked. Compliments… weird. She didn’t get those often. Harbor… ‘grinned’ again, and bowed her head modestly. Stellar added, “I haven't seen many Tortuous shells around here. You're my first, actually”

At first she was tempted to whip out a “that’s what she said” wisecrack, but the moment was gone before Harbor said it, pausing to contemplate it’s appropriateness in such a situation, so in the end the tortie kept quiet—‘twas probably for the best anyhow that the cat got her tongue. Taro and Stellar immediately stepped into a conversation about his future after this, and Harbor paid rapt attention, but put back up a slight of reserve, a little more nervous again because of her failed joke. Though after awhile, it was apparent they’d stay on it for an hour or so, and the tortie got as comfortable as one could amoung crushed beer cans and a black plastic bag. It was still radiating at least some warmth from the dusky sun, which was nice. Basking there, she was tempted to take a catnap and stretched out her short legs. Then she remembered why she was there, and immediately drew her paws in, feeling considerably less comfortable. Until:

“I may have to kill him... Or at least try. Indigo would hate me for it... It wouldn't do anything, either. Have any idea where a mud puddle is? I have a plan.[/i]" Harbor twitched her patched ears and put up a front even colder than her own, already concluding his decision unwise, bordering stupidity, and that not only he but the sweeter and more caring of the two femmes would get themselves into a bad situation. Taro at least seemed as if she would agree, from what Harbor could tell. But… who was she to butt in, having been so out of it for the majority of their conversation. They could’ve moved onto an entirely different topic--

“I'm sorry, uh... um... no. I don't know exactly where a mud puddle is,[/i]” replied the other she-cat, and Harbor let a sigh of relief flow, if clipped, from her soggy black nose. “But I'm sure there are plenty around here, there was a nice rainfall last night.” Damnit. The she-cat glared at her, then, and Harbor instantly decided that their dislike was now both mutual and official, with which the second she-cat had no problems whatsoever. Stellar followed her brown form meekly. However, Harbor drew herself up, and gave Taro an actual, tried-for glare. And since the tortoiseshell’s stark yellow opts were normally stark and... less than motherly, let’s say, Harbor assumed this to be very intimidating. She took to her paws and strutted towards the two. Taro seemed to be ignoring her by the time Harbor got into earshot again, however, as they’d been three or four feet ahead when she’d stood up. “Mud: check![/i]” The brown cat laughed at her own joke and smiled toothily, then turned back to Stellar. “So, what else is needed for your working plan.” Then, to Harbor’s surprise, Taro licked her lips, and the countenance that had seemed so motherly beforehand struck the tortie as rather ferocious and—oh, that was it! This was not at all the way to go.

“You look like a freakin’ psychopath,” she first interrupted, wryly, before interjecting, “—now Stellar, slow down. Use your head. Be reasonable, this is a fool’s plan if you’re going to murder anyone.” Harbor looked the tabby full in the nose—as she didn’t want to come across that strong by looking him in the eye. “You said yourself Indigo would hate you for this. Do you want that: no, right? So why go this route if there’s a better way, huh? Tell me.” She cocked her head stand-offishly, and took on such a look to her countenance that dared him to ask what she meant. But while she reasoned that she’d need to get his attention for sure before Ms. Spitthorns said her piece—he did have that weird glint in his eyes—it was not Harbor’s way to do things correctly. The only, right way. Her impatience could very well be this “Ash” character’s downfall, because Harbor continued rasping, “Hell, you’ve got kids with this she-cat, do you have any idea how much you’ve freakin’ got, tom? This is a gift. Get your kits back. You can start over—have the life you and… Indigo always wanted together with them. Stellar,” she laughed here, “You’ve got something left to live for!” And if she’s as wonderful as you believe, I’ll conjecture that if this Wintertrap chick will do anything for love, she’ll follow motherly instinct to the absolute ends of the earth. Harbor debated whether to tell this to the tabby tom, but held onto her thoughts… for now.