A Leaf On the Breeze |Raven|

[wolf]

What had compelled his paws to carry him to this place? Why would he want to see a human society again, after what had happened to him? And yet, after he had been wandering aimlessly, much like a breeze carries a leaf to an unknown destination, he had ended up here. Well, it was most likely his fault for just wandering aimlessly, not caring where he ended up or why he got there, that he had wound up here. In this stupid human civilization with their safe houses and machines that flattened cats whenever they could. Honestly, humans had it made.

Sitting down in the shade of a tree beside a road, he calmly observed the human dens in silence. What if one of these monstrosities was holding Daisy captive within? A prisoner once more. Dying to get outside, to escape, to lead the life of a stray once more… And hopefully looking for him. He closed his eyes. Perhaps he should look around for Daisy in this neighborhood? Look into the human houses and try and find her and save her; Save her like he couldn’t before. Then why wasn’t he already getting started?

The truth was that he was afraid. Afraid to be caught again and shoved into the prison, behind the steel bars, confined in a space where he could barely stretch his legs. He actually shuddered as he thought of having to go back there again. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, even if it was for her. Why, why was he so weak? If Daisy really was being contained in one of those houses, then this would be the second time that he failed her so miserably. Wasn’t he supposed to protect her?

Feeling miserable, he mindlessly walked up and down the road, gold eyes staring at the ground. He was her mate, he was supposed to protect her, even with his life if it came to that… And here he was, too afraid to look for her. Too afraid to do anything… More like too pathetic. He sighed and sat back down beneath the tree. That orange she-cat had been right about him. Completely and totally right. There was no way around it. She had read him like a book. And that unsettled him.

You say you read me like a book
But the pages all look torn and frayed.

[/I][/right]

Ooc:
Sorry it’s short. DX

Lyrics: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

[Raven Soulreaver]

Streets I'm used to seeing, People I'm used to seeing
Recently all have seemed to become the events of a distant country

After visiting the dump and getting her feel of something to eat the solid she-cat found herself wandering into the busier and more louder part of the town. Her silver orbs emotionlessly gazed around the streets filled with people and other stray cats and even some house owned cats. She could easily spot those who belonged to humans with their bright colored collars around their necks, accessories with bells and shiny metal plates with their names carved into them. To thing she used to be a cat like that. 'How pathetic I must have looked to other strays.' She thought with emotionless eyes gazing down the road at a owned cat. Playing with a string their human so wildly dragged along the ground. The cat's bell jiggled with his moments. 'Stupid.' She thought winkling her nose before sighing softly and continued to walk down the road.

It was all familiar, this life, these people and other cats. Yet, somehow, she felt like she didn't belong. Maybe she would go back to being a house cat? Go back to eating food out of a bowl from a bag or can. She winkled her nose again, disgusted at the though. No she liked being a stray, and after being one for so long. 'I can never go back.' She thought silver orbs saddened with a distant void in them as she stared longingly at what she used to have. Shaking her head the solid black she-cat continued down the road, she had no clue where she was going or where she would end up. She just let her paws carry her wherever they so dearly wished to take her.

Like a white shadow moving across a black top path a white cat passed the solid she-cat sending her shivers down her spine. Raven swirled around to look back at the cat that had pasted her frightened. Her heart thumped in her chest as she watched the figure retreat into some human's land. Soon the thumping of her heart stopped into normal pulses. Frost. Was he haunting her now? Was she going to get scared like this at every white cat she saw? 'Frost. Where are you now, I wonder?' Her eyes narrowed, even after what he did to her she still felt for the bastard. How pathetic of her. Swallowing her emotions the she-cat turned back the way she was going before and never looked back.

Soon the she-cat walked past a brown tabby tom who's scent and face looked very familiar to her. She had to stop and look back at him. "Oh... Wolf?" She questioned she had briefly met the tom when she first arrived along with another tom named Osprey and a she-cat like herself. Siren she called herself? Yes, there was no mistaken this tom was the tom she met on the old road with the other two cats. He was just like her. The emotionless void in his eyes held sadness like her own. The lingering emotion was plain in sight in his golden orbs. He looked lost, as was she. Maybe, he too longed for something he could no longer go back to.

I want to feel it again, in the dark
My hopes weave the pattern of vivid music

_{Blue English Lyrics - Utada Hikaru}

[wolf]

There's a mile gone for every minute past
When I'm stuck in this town.

Suddenly, he felt as if he had the strength, power, courage of a bear on their hind legs, head bowed to look down at its smaller, more fragile opponent. In the bear’s eyes victory was his the moment the smaller, younger bear had approached and dared to awaken him from his quiet evening slumber. At first, rage and adrenaline had pulsed through his body and he had immediately taken up a fighting position, not knowing what he was up against but wanting to knock the thing around as much as he could risk. Then the outraged bear realized that the creature who had woken him had little to no chance next to him. As if he had been unperturbed before, he calmly started his onslaught, determined to spite his victim in any way he could imagine.

This was how the brown tabby felt, a sort of out-of-body, impossible experience. As if his earlier worries had no place in his head and he could simply march up to the nearest human monstrosity and force his way in. As if the humans would cower in fear from the glare he would stare them down with, his gold eyes full of hate and malice and the readiness to hurt, or severely injure, if needed. And rescue Daisy. He felt, to put it simply, as if he could be a superhuman form of himself, to redeem himself, to fix the past and pave the way to the future the way he wanted it to be, not just sit back and get his paws stuck in the concrete.

What was he thinking? He had no tangible proof that the one he sought after so longingly was anywhere near his current location. In an instant, his out-of-body experience was forgotten as the hopelessness that had been accumulating for weeks came back to further torment him. To take his mind off of things, for hopefully more than a moment, he watched the house cats around the neighborhood. He wondered briefly if one of them could be Daisy, but that idea was ridiculous. If Daisy had been let out of the human house for even a second, she would be half way around the world by now.

Wolf was brought out of his momentary distraction by a black cat obstructing his line of sight with a orange and white cat he had been watching trying and failing to climb a tree to try and get a squirrel up there. There was something familiar about this completely sable cat, something he couldn’t put his finger on. Had he met this female before? And just forgotten about her? Probably. She smelled and looked so familiar… That had to be the case… That he had simply forgotten.

Then, as she spoke his name, he suddenly remembered. He had met her at that forsaken road where he had willed a car to barrel down and crush him beneath its paws and leave him there as road kill. But, that wasn’t to be so, because he had decided to try and make conversation with the tiny group of cats that had formed beside the road. And this female, her name was Raven, he remembered now, had been one of those cats. ”Raven, right?” He asked, though already knowing the answer.

Lyrics: Come One, Come All by All Time Low

[Raven Soulreaver]

I realized, from your words
The single flower nestled against my feet

Watching the brown tabby cat catiously, although she had briefly met this tom before she didn't know what kind of cat he was. However just judging from the way he walked and the emotions in his eyes she could tell he was like her. Broken and lost in this world. Her silver orbs slowly closed as she bowed her head down when she opened her eyes she noticed a scar on his ankle that went all the way around. She didn't think much of it, scars for stays where uncommon, like herself. She had a cut in her ear, claw marks across her nose and eye. As well as countless other ones that where covered up by new fur. So this tom to have a scar such as that was not uncommon or unusual.

Licking her lips her silver orbs met back with his yellow voids and she nodded slightly when she said she was Raven. "Y-yes." She spoke shying figuring it would be rude not to answer him. Uneasily her head fell and she looked down at her paws. Talking to someone like this, it was very hard. She didn't know how to carry on a conversation. Turning her head to the side slightly leaving the tom known as Wolf see only her profile. She defeatedly let out a sigh, she hated her lack of knowledge or socialize. Her disorder that prevented her from doing so. Sprite, Frost. They where the only ones she'd really ever spoke to well. Sprite because he was her brother and Frost because he took the time to know her.

Glancing back up at the brown tabby tom known as Wolf she forced back tears. Would this tom take time to know her? 'I doubt it.' She answered her own question mentally. He didn't seem like the type that would go out of his way to know another. Who would someone who obviously felt pain do that? Why would he--who was in pain, hurting--take the time to know her? A helpless, pittiful, messed up she-cat who didn't know how to be social. 'I don't want to not be social.' She gritted her teeth fighting with herself. 'Say something, speak, do it.' She forced herself to try and speak her mouth opened and her voice cracked slightly as he no words escaped her lips. She didn't know what to say.

"W-what... brings y-you to a place l-like this?" The words slowly yet rushedly left her mouth as she stammered. She did it she said something, she sparked up a conversation. She felt her chest heave, heavy with pain. A stabbing pain that soon swept away as she felt her chest swell. Satisfactory replaced pain as she was proud for speaking out beyond her barrier. Would he judge her or ignore her faults and talk to her normally? She desprately hoped for the later than the sooner, she wanted to break out of her comfort zone and get close to someone again to anyone, not just a single cat. This tom, maybe just maybe he could be her first step on that journey to break free.

As if to insist, that I’m not afraid
even if I lose, I walked forward…

_{Tsumetai Yoru English lyrics - Kyouya Ootori's voice actor, sound track from Ouran High School Host Club.}

[wolf]

It’s time to learn.
Accept what’s been done.[/I]

Wolf looked at Raven, now that he was one hundred percent sure of her name, more closely. He had noticed her scars when he had first met her and had wondered briefly how she had obtained them, but had not really thought about it long before his attention was grabbed by something else of more importance. So now that there really wasn’t much else to think about, he wondered where she could’ve gotten them. They were definitely scars made by claws, unlike his single scar that was made by a human device. Had she gotten them in a fight with another cat? If so, why had they fought? Had she won?

Coming to a halt with this train of thinking because he didn’t have anymore facts to try and piece together what the battle might have looked like, he started to think about different things. Like, why had she stuttered out the one-word answer to his question? It wasn’t entirely difficult to say ‘yes,’ so why had she enunciated the ‘y’ twice? Well, it wasn’t entirely a big deal, it was just a curious thing to him. He had met other cats who had stuttered before, so it wasn’t like it was the first time he had heard it; He used to stutter when he was nervous before learning how to control it.

His ears went back at her next words. Why was he there? ”Well I just happened to wander here for no particular reason before realizing that my long-lost mate might be in one of these houses. So then I tried to figure out a way to search each of them for her. Realizing that that was stupid and that I’d probably get caught, I had a vision of being all-powerful and having humans cower away from me when I entered their homes. After scaring a few households out of their wits, I eventually came upon Daisy, that’s my long-lost mate, and I rescued her. Then we lived happily ever after, the end.”

Yeah, that’s exactly what he was going to say. She’d probably think he was a nut-job, just like that Indigo character he had met at the stream. His ears went back up as he thought about Indigo. She had gone totally insane and started yelling and shouting at him. He examined Raven again to see if she reminded him of Indigo in any way, shape, or form. He was ready to bolt if he found any similarities, but he could only find three that didn‘t count. They were both cats, both female, and both strays. Besides that, nothing.

But he realized something else when he examined her for that second time to make sure she wasn’t Indigo-like. She looked sad. Wolf thought that it was probably his imagination, but she looked sad, kind of depressed, even. He remembered Indigo’s words… Did he looked like Raven did? Sad, even depressed? He closed his eyes for a few seconds. If he didn’t look like that, what did he look like? Happy? Yeah right. Maybe he looked neutral. He opened his gold eyes again to respond, trying to think of exactly what to say. He didn’t want to get into the same mess he had gotten into with Stellar by saying the wrong things. ”Just exploring. And you?” He said, hoping that didn’t cause any problems.

Repair this desctruction.
All we need is a reason.

Lyrics: The Antidote by Story of the Year

[Raven Soulreaver]

Believe it or not, everyone have things that they hide
Believe it or not, everyone keeps most things inside

Raven was almost scared she had said the wrong thing when she saw the brown tabby tom's reaction to her question. A simple question but his ears fell back as if she had hurt him some how. Pain this tom was in pain and he was trying to escape it. It was obvious, what it was however she was unsure of. He had problems like she did, like a lot of people did. Things that had happened to them in the past, things that do happen to them. Disorders they might have, all of them. Licking her lips and swallowing a medium sized lump in her throat her silver orbs turned down to the ground, she couldn't look at him now.

"Just exploring. And you?"

The words left the tom's mouth and she gave a mental sigh of relief. He had answered her, hesitently but he did. Now the next step to answer his question. Gulping she shuffled some dirty between her paws and met his golden orbs with her silver ones. "Same... I gues... Just wandering..." She answered him slowly and softly. Her eyes refused to meet his when she spoke no matter how much she tried. Her eyes met his between pauses but not when words emit from her mouth. She mentally kicked herself for it, mentally cursing this stupid distorder that was inflicted on her. Did god hate her for some reason...?

A small black lonely kitty stared longingly at her mother and father craddling and caring for her brother Sky. She wanted that attention, that love. However she did not reseve it from her parents or her elder brother. He had his own way of showing his love. Spotting the black slinder short fured cat now she picked herself up and walked along the tan colored carpets over to him. "Does... god hate me?" She asked him looking down at the tan carpetting as if she had never seen it before. This was far from the truth however, she had gazed down at this carpet millions of times before.

Blinking confused like the older black tom gave a wide goofish grin. "Silly girl, of corse not, he just has something special for you planned." He meowed cooly without hesitation. She envied his ability to be so blunt and confident with his words. She was so insecure and hesitent, she lacked major confidence and experiance in a conversation.

"Something... Special...?"

Blinking away the memory Raven couldn't help but hang onto that small glimmer of hope. For now it was all she had left to believe in...

Believe it or not, everyone, believe in something above
Believe it or not, everyone, need to feel loved

_{Believe It Or Not - NickelBack}

[wolf]

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me.
My shadow’s heart’s the only thing that’s beatin’.
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me.

Wolf wasn’t exactly an expert on carrying on a conversation. Just look at what happened with that Stellar guy. He had said the wrong thing, and suddenly the cat did a one eighty on him. The cat whom he had at first thought was one of those always-happy-nice-guys actually snapped at him. Who would’ve thought? And then Wolf, not knowing what else to do, did what he best and made him angrier. Then challenged him. So yes, Wolf was not exactly the best person to have a conversation with. But he did try… Mostly. Unlike with the insane orange tabby. He admits that he had encouraged her a bit to do what she did.

He thought about her words and tried to find the best way to respond to them. He thought he had thought through what he had said to Stellar, so this time he was going to put more effort into making sure he didn’t say the wrong thing, but it was difficult. And like Stellar, this feline didn’t appear to be one that would suddenly snap at you, but… He was 0 for 3 with trying to judge others by first looking at them. Not everyone could be read like a book. He certainly knew that he couldn’t be read like that… Well. Couldn’t be read like a book by anyone except that annoying Indigo.

Anyways, back to his dilemma. How to respond? He could respond with another question, of course, or he could simply say something like ‘I see’ and end the conversation before it really started. Nip it in the bud, stop it in it’s tracks before it got out of hand and he had more people angry and screaming at him like banshees. Shifting his weight uncomfortably, he chewed over what people had said to him in the past, reaching back as far as he could in his memory. He decided to try and continue the conversation, for what reason he didn’t know. Perhaps for mere amusement.

”Where did you go… After the road?” He managed to say, being all together too friendly for his own liking. He didn’t want anyone to think that they were anymore than an acquaintance to him. Enemies were ok. Lovers were a no-no. He already had a mate. He wasn’t sure where she was, but he still had one, and he had to remain faithful to her, right? He wasn’t exactly good at making friends, so it really wasn’t much of a problem unless he decided to be friendly like he was right now. But there was something about Raven that made him want to be kind to her. Maybe he pitied her? He wasn’t sure.

’Till then I walk alone.

Lyrics: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

[Raven Soulreaver]

Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching waiting for something

Keeping her silver orbs on the ground below her paws she made a face at the silence that followed her voice. Was he torturing her on purpose? Or maybe perhaps he had trouble socializing as well? Did he not know what to say or how to respond? Well whatever the reason was the silence was killing her. Slowly from the inside. She couldn't stand it, the awkward air that floated between the two felines. She could almost see it's sickening green Aura silently wavering around them like a thick fog. It slowly drifted into her ears sending her mind into paranoia. Her mind reeled like a fast forwarding tape recorder through all the negative things he could possible say to her or even perhaps felt about her.

'He hates me. He thinks I'm useless. Sickening. Pathetic. Outcast, I could never fit in.' Her mind told herself as she shivered slightly at the negative air that floated around them. Her fur stood up for a moment before it relaxed to normal again. Her silver orbs clouded with emotions that she desperately tried to cover up. Wide with fear of what her mind said was possibly true. She wanted to run, run away so she could not hear him say those disgusting words to her that would make her hide deep within herself.

Shaking her mind off those negative thoughts she slowly jerked her head to the side to look at some human's house. She needed to distract herself from her own thoughts. She stared at the humans house and just to her luck she noticed she hated it. The yard was neatly kept and even the grass was perfectly cut. Raven's left eye twitched with annoyance. Humans, why did they have to have everything so perfect? This perfection, she hated it, she hated such perfection.

Her muscles bunched up as her mind's impulsive nature told her to go tear up that lawn. Make it so imperfect. To feel the thrill of destroying such perfect brought her sickening pleasure. It was almost a blood-lust like state. Her impulsive nature to destroy the perfection around her. She could feel that voice in the back of her mind tugging at her telling her to do it. Tear it up, destroy it, ruin it and all it's perfection.

However Wolf was here, she couldn't. What would he think if she just stormed off right now? What would he think if she tore up that human's lawn? He'd probably think she was mental. Maybe, just maybe she was. Maybe she was just slightly mental. Her disorder. It made her this way. So anti-social, so impulsive toward perfection. All because of her parents, it was their fault she was like this. They where the reason she was like this. They brought her this disorder and allowed it to grow into something much larger than it could have been.

She felt pain as it stabbed at her in her chest. She blinked away the unwanted tears that threatened to cloud her vision. She just wanted to cry for her misfortune but she wouldn't. To cry at her pitiful, unfortunate self. However, she would not allow herself to cry. Not now, not in front of this stranger. Let alone a strange tom. She had never cried in front of anyone before. She refused to cry in front of a male, she wasn't weak like most males visioned females. She would never cry in front of someone period. She, and that, planned to keep it that way. To keep it that way for as long as she could...

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down to force back the ears. Her black ears swiveled toward the brown tom as he spoke again. She mustered up the best, believable smile she could give him. A small smile that told him she was acknowledging him. That she was listening to him and what he had to say to her. While she may not have been the best of talker she was a good listener. Blinking at the question she through about it. 'After the road... I went to the woods... I met, Alcander Blackpaw. A strange tom who had voices inside his head.' Her mind answered the question quickly after putting though into it. Was this how people conversed? Saying what came to mind? Could she do that?

Licking her fine black lips she opened her mouth to answer the question. "I went to the woods... and... explored..." She said simply mentally kicking herself for not saying more. Why was it so hard? Why could she not tell him more? What held her back? 'My disorder. Yes, that's right.' She made a face and turned from the tom. How sickening, she disgusted herself. No wonder her parents where so ... appalled by her. She was disgusting.

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows all my time

In The Shadows - The Rasmus

[wolf]

Broken down on memory lane.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just easily talk to another feline like he did before… Before everything happened. Because he did notice that he had changed when his best friend and mate was taken out of his life. Was he just depressed or was it something else? Something else that he wasn’t aware of? Was that orange tabby right…? ’No,’ He told himself in a firm voice inside of his head, ’If you start believing what she said then you’ll became as insane as she.’

He realized that when he wasn’t conversing with another feline, he was thinking of things that he didn’t want to think about. So this really just put him between a rock and a hard place. It was hard for him to have a decent conversation now, not like before, when words just flowed off of his tongue. Now he had to think about them. And before he could think about them, he had to actually think of them. This made it extremely hard for him to have a normal conversation, what with the long pause he had to take to think his words through. It was actually annoying.

He wished he could just go back. Go back and make things right. Who knew where he would be right now if he had just been able to save Daisy? Or better yet, not even go to the human trash-place that the whole disaster had taken place? Who knew. He would be living an entirely different life, probably in an entirely different place, he would hopefully be able to still have a normal conversation, and he would be with Daisy-- And that matter more than anything. Anything in the world to him.

Wolf was brought back from his hopeful dreaming by the sound of Raven’s voice. He had almost forgotten she was there. And now… Now he was back to this conversation thing. Great. This time, he tried to just not think and analyze what he wanted to say and just say it. So, after a little pause, he said what came to mind. ”I went through the woods… To the stream,” He said, and felt relieved that he had managed that. Maybe he still had it in him to keep up a conversation… Maybe.

Lyrics: Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am? By Fall Out Boy

[Raven Soulreaver]

He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right

A tingling sensation pegged at the back of her eyes and throughout her nose. The very tingling sensation she did not want to feel. The feeling of potental tears ready to overflow from the edges of her eye lids. She closed with shut tight. The liquid squished between her closed lids as she forced them back in. She didn't want to cry. Not for herself, not now, not in front of this tom. A tom she bearly knew, could she willingly cry in front of him? She sniffed and tilted her head back to look at the sky. Forcing the tears to fall back and soak back into her moist silvery orbs that dailated into a small slit as more light entered her optics.

She didn't even know why she wanted the cry. It was just one of those times everyone had. Where you just felt so pitiful, so helpless, so frustrated you just wanted to cry. You couldn't stop it, it just came. Shaking the jet black feline dropped her head in defeat as the tears slipped from her silver orbs. One by one wet tear dropples fell to the ground leaving small dark spots on the surface. Soft sobs escaped her maw unwillingly. She shook her head remembering Wolf was there. She couldn't explain herself for crying.

"S-sorry... hic... I-it's n-nothing." She apologized as she choked on her own sobs. The tears rolled down her cheeks soaking right into her fur. She brought her paw up and whiped them away and rubed her tears away. But she couldn't stop. How could she cry in front of this strange tom? She'd never cried in front of anyone besides Frost, yet she couldn't stop herself now. They just flowed like a running river.

Swallowing a lump in her throat she forced back the rest of the tears. She couldn't hold them for long. As much as she didn't want to she had to leave. She had to run away, she couldn't show weakness to another, her pithetic self. She couldn't show that she needed someone else, she was worthless alone. She just needed someone to understand her, empathize what she was going through... Someone that care.

As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

How to Save A Life - The Fray

[wolf]

Maybe I’ve been wasting my time dreaming
In a harsh reality.[/I]

Wolf’s gold eyes flickered back over the rows of houses with activity happening all around them. Joyous cries of happiness, defeated sobs of pain, loud yells of anger… All of these, those from inside the houses and out, came flowing to his ears. He could hear a child laughing with his friends inside a house down the street, now that he concentrated. He could hear a toddler saying ‘mommy’ for the first time and their parents going berserk and calling everyone they knew and getting the video camera out.

They were all so oblivious. They had no idea that felines went through the same situations they did. Fear, pain, happiness, loss, lust, excitement, joy, anger, and more. Their lives were so similar, now that Wolf bothered to listen. Humans didn’t understand that, and Wolf hadn’t understood that until moments ago, when he decided to listen. That someone could be going through the same thing he was, searching for his loved one. Feeling exactly what he felt.

Then what would a human do in his situation? They would probably just move on. Like he should be doing. Get on with their life. Look back on their experience as a lesson learned. To never love again? To spend each day with someone you love as if the next day they would be gone? Either way, he had to move on. He couldn’t just waste his time dreaming of finding her. His entire life was being controlled by his foolish desire to find her in this huge world. He was a fool. A weak fool.

He looked back over at Raven as she spoke to him. His eyes widened at her crying. Immediately he wondered what he had done wrong. Was she upset at him? Had she said something and he hadn’t answered while he was deep in thought? He had tried so hard to have a decent conversation, and… Something had happened. Why did he always make everyone cry? What was wrong with him?! Was he so pathetic that people felt compelled to cry in pity?

The tabby tom jumped to his feet, and stared at the she-cat. He felt anger starting to pump through him. Why did everyone break down around him? Was he just a walking magnet for crazies? ”What the hell is my problem? Everyone just seems to want to cry when I talk to them. Am I really that pathetic? That everyone feels the need to cry in pity for me? Is it really that I just offend everyone when I try and have a conversation with them that they just cry? Am I really that bad at having a decent conversation that everyone cries in boredom? Someone just tell me the answer, for God’s sake,” He hissed quietly. He rarely ever raised his voice.

Lyrics: Let It Roll by All Time Low

[Raven Soulreaver]

Listen to each drop of rain (listen listen)
whispering secrets in vain, (listen listen)

Words like a ranging storm left the brown tabby tom's mouth as they shot through Raven like knives. She was flabbergasted(that's right, flabbergasted!) at how his emotions just poured out into rage like that. He was so calm, and almost shy only moments ago. She thought he was like her but just now, at his words, she was proved wrong. She admired him in a way, the way he could just say what was on his mind. She couldn't even do that. She couldn't let that hot emotion bubble past the surface. That hot bubbling anger. The resentment she held for herself, she couldn't express it. She couldn't cry out and empty out all that she held inside.

Sniffing the black she-cat lowered her head, feeling ashamed. Her ears laid back on her skull. She made him upset, he was upset at her. For crying? It didn't hardly make any sense to Raven. Shaking her head she rubbed her face with her paw. Ridding of the tears that fell. She didn't want him to be mad at her. Sniffing again her silver orbs met with his yellow ones. "N-no, it's not you who is pethetic..." She spoke carefully, stammering slightly as she choked over her words trying to keep from sobbing. Her voice trailed off and she took a deep breath trying to regain her composure. 'I can do this, just say what you need to say.'

Her brows furrowed with determination, but it did not last long before she turned her head and looked away. "I'm the pathetic one." She spoke in a soft whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear her but hoping he would on the other paw. "I-I'm sorry for troubling you... Maybe I should go..." She muttered softly to herself closing her eyes as the hot tears wanted to flow again. She wanted to just let herself go, but she barely knew this tom. 'He doesn't seem to happy either.' Her ears flattened once more. She didn't want to upset him farther with her pathetic self. She should just leave it's not like he would understand her anyways, right? 'No one ever will...'

Frantically searching for someone to hear
their story before they hit ground.

Listen to the Rain - Evanescence

[wolf]

It was his own fault. For going into isolation from members of his own species for so long. For falling into a deep depression for so long. It was all his fault. He couldn’t do anything. He was like a freaking crippled guy. He couldn’t talk to anyone normally, damn it! They always cried, or got upset, or God only knows what! Was he really such a failure? Such a pathetic failure? That he couldn’t do anything right. That he couldn’t have a conversation. That all he could do correctly is be angry at someone and make them cry. What kind of a feline was he? ’A pathetic one,’ He answered himself.

Was he ever like this? This isolated from the rest of his own species? The only time that he could remember being alone was before he had met Daisy and after he had escaped from his humans. That was the only time he had been as alone as he had when he had gone into that deep depression. The first cat he had talked to was Daisy. And he hadn’t had a probable talking to her, had he? …Or maybe that was it. Maybe he just failed to realize that without her, he was nothing. Was that it? That cliché stuff that everyone said? ‘Two halves to a whole.’

Yeah right. The whole fairy tale thing was for kittens. He could be his own person. He could if he would just forget about her. ’This road again,’ He thought, wondering how many times he go down this one stupid, fucking road. Instead, he decided to figure out what this she-cat was wailing about. Though being angry at her was probably not the right way to go about it, he didn’t really care. All he wanted was to know why, to answer this question. Why he couldn’t just be normal.

”So what were you crying about then? If I’m not the pathetic one, that is. Or are you just trying to be nice?” He said quietly. Though he said it softly, he was fully capable of expressing his anger, frustration, and impatient in his voice. So his point actually came across better in most cases this way, rather than yelling and screaming. That usually just got the other guy more annoyed at you, or whatever, and yelled right back. But this way you can express a sort of calm, in-control sort of vibe, making the person you were speaking to more compelled to answer. These were his experiences, at least… The encounter with Indigo didn’t count.

[Raven Soulreaver]

I lay sleeping with my arms
crossed around my chest,
looking forward to the morning.

"So what were you crying about then?"

Those few simple words left the brown tabby tom's lips and Raven simply blinked at him. The speechless, dumbfounded look on her face was like she had never heard those words before, or never heard him speak. Although they did regester to her mind, she found her memories being taken away to a familiar sene. A sene that was nearly a year ago when she first got baned from her home and was on the streets on her own...

A much younger and healthier looking she-cat with a solid black jet pelt quietly walked along a path. Where it led? She did not know. All she knew is she was just going away. She needed to find a place for herself to stay. Weather it be on the streets alone or in the home of a different human. Raven, she was so misunderstood. By her parents, they loathed her. Despite she was their child, they disowned her.

'Why? Why did it have to be me? Why can't they understand? Why? I only wanted to help...' She sniffed aloud as he thoughts dwelled on what had happened moments ago. Tears freely fell from her silver orbs, she could not hold them back. She could not help it, they just came.

"Why are you crying, child?"

The voice was not familiar to the jet black female cat. She jumped startled by the voice and her silver orbs met the icey blue ones of a solid white cat. He had a charming air about him, carefree, but yet mysterious. "Are you lost little one? Where are your parents?" He asked her, his movements where smooth as he curled beside her comforting her. She trembled, her body was weak. She was emotionally unstable, as well as mentally. She did not answer him. However, he did not yell at her for not speaking he simply comforted her and soon took her into his care until she spoke to him. This was the first time anyone went out of their way to understand Raven...

'It was... really... all I wanted... I just want someone to at lest try and understand me...'

Blinking away the memory, more tears rolled down her face as she stared into Wolf's golden orbs. Her orbs having never left his while she remembered the first time she met Frost. Sniffling slightly Raven lowered her head and uncontiously without thought spoke. "I cry for myself, my misfortune. I am pethetic, it is not you who is." She spoke softly but without hesitation. Althought she did not realize she had done it she could indeed speak to others normally. So long as she did not think about it.

The tears did not leave her eyes but they where not longer falling. She looked back up at Wolf before she bowed her head. "I am sorry for upsetting you... I apparently am just trouble for others..." She apologized, muttering the last part to herself. No matter where she went she was just a burden to others. Such a troublesome creature she was. 'Maybe... I just shouldn't be here... why am I here...?' She wondered before her brother's voice rang into her head once more.

"Does... god hate me...?"

"Silly girl, of corse not, he just has something special for you planned."

'Does he really Sprite? Does he really...? I'm starting to lose hope...' Her mind thought the tears in her eyes threatened to fall again. However she shook that feeling away. "S-sorry... again... I-i think I s-should go... Uhh... bye...?" She stammered unsure of what to do her eyes lifted from the ground to meet his once more. She hoped he was not upset and would take her word for it. 'He'll probably get angrier... Everyone does... No one believes me...'

When I woke up, I found
by my pillow a teddy bear...
in place of you.

Teddy Bear - Ayumi Hamasaki

[wolf]

Choose love or sympathy
But never both.[/I]

Wolf continued to meet her gaze, anger radiating off of him. Maybe he shouldn’t be angry at her, maybe he should be angry at himself. What kind of person yells at someone for crying? But she was obviously crying about something he did, right? And that really pissed him off, because all he was doing was trying to be nice to her… Well, trying to have a conversation, at least. He felt so completely pathetic. And now she was saying that she was the pathetic one? He had to stop himself from laughing. He was angry at her for not calling him pathetic. He didn’t need anyone’s pity.

Though as he looked into her eyes he saw the truth of her words. It was obvious now that she had also gone through as much, if not more, pain than he has. And now he was yelling at her for crying…? He had to look away. What had he become? He wasn’t the same cat that he used to be. He took a deep breath to calm himself back down again. His anger slowly faded until it was just a memory. Only then did he dare to meet her silver eyes again.

This time, he just said what was on his mind, without thinking about it, without seeing what could go wrong. He was getting too impatient for all of that, and it usually didn’t even get him anywhere anyway. ”No, I am pathetic. Who yells at someone for crying?” He asked rhetorically, his ears going back slightly. ”If you want to go then you can go,” He said dismissively, shrugging, as if not caring either way.

Lyrics: XO by Fall Out Boy