An Unfortunate Reunion |Stellar|

[Ash Firestar]

Ash watched Stellar carefully, trying to judge his moves. The tiniest thing might set him off, Ash shuffled his paws nervously. A horror-struck expression spread over his face. Stellar started to tell him there was no fight. Huh? Fight? A disagreement then? He and Indigo hadn't really talked about the whole mate-with-Stellar experience. He was planning on it the next time he got a chance. Ash had just assumed that there was a fight.

The grey tom adjusted his position. "There wasn't?" Ash asked lowering his eyes to his paws. He listened, that was weird. Hm..odd. He could see how hurt Stellar was, the pain this story caused him. Ash smoothed a spot with his paw and looked up slightly, staring at Stellar's chest. "Indigo and I haven't really...talked..." He looked at Stellar's face, how deranged it was. Ash cringed away, "Well, we haven't talked about that yet, we were just focused on kits..." Ash studdered and returned his gaze to the ground.

He realized what pain Indigo had caused Stellar. She asked to mate with him? Ash was offended. He knew that Indigo had sort of 'left' Stellar there, after telling him there was nothing. How could she live with herself after that? A burning flame welded up inside of him as his gaze hardened. "She shouldn't have done that..." He mumbled to himself.

Ash winced a little bit as Stellars harsh words slashed through him. He looked up, "Stellar, I realize now what she did to you. But, once you have walked in my paws...you don't know pain like I do!" He shot back harshly as a bunch of old memories went through his mind...

Sometime between when I was six months of age and my first birthday, my mother decided to do away with those treacherous humans. She became a stray, which meant that I had to live with my dad twenty-four-seven. My sister got worse, she always got the biggest of the prey, the biggest space…I think you get the point. I was always given the smallest, my mother was through standing up for me and she had the scars to prove it (That’s right, my dad abused her. Who said only humans abuse?). But there was one night that she lost it, me as well.

We were all eating, except me. There wasn’t enough food for me, only my mother, Violet, and dad of course. I sat with my head hanging in depression. I felt like I had lost my voice, I hadn’t spoken in a few months. Because, quite frankly, it didn’t make any difference at all. I glanced at my mother, burning in fury. “JASPER!” She shouted, I shook my head at her, “DON’T TREAT ASH LIKE THIS! HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT!” She bared her teeth. “What the heck has your son done to you to make you so mad? To make you abuse him and me and treat both of us like slaves!” She glared hard and long into her mate’s eyes with no compassion what-so-ever for him.
“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT CINDER FIRESTAR!” He used her last name before she mated with him. I had never heard it, but I loved it. “He did not do anything to me, but to our dear Violet.”
“He didn’t do anything, Jasper Cedarwood!” She hissed at him.
“Oh yeah, he hasn’t been nice to her one time!”
“Of course not, he hasn’t had a chance to!”
He stayed silent for a moment, and then he hissed and slashed across her face with his deathly claws. She fell to the ground with tears flowing from her eyes. She motioned with her beautiful tail to come to me. “Ash, honey, please go,” she pleaded.
“No, mom. I’m not leaving you…” He stared into her pretty blues with concern, “I can’t trust him.”
“No matter what happens to me, I always loved you,” she licked her dry lips, “I believe it’s time for both of us to go our separate ways.”
“I know,” I whispered then turned to Jasper. “You foul-mouthed mongrel!” I shouted, “YOU DOG!” I ran at him and tackled him, slashing at his face and any body part I could scratch. “YOU NEVER LOVED HER!” He growled. “YOU NEVER LOVED ME!” I felt hot, salty water flowing down my cheeks. “YOU KILLED YOUR MATE!” I knew it was true, mom had her last straw. She had her last breath, and she was happy to know that she had somebody to love, her son. I think she heard my fighting and was pleading for me to stop like she always had. “I HATE DOGS!” I hissed and slashed one more time at his face and I struck gold. I got off of my bloody father and ran into the night.

And another one, much harsher flashed through his mind.

When we reached the pound, Heather explained that the pound had four rooms, one for first day arrivals, another for second day cats, and a third for final day cats. I think you can guess what the fourth room was for. “Where are you from, Ash?” Heather asked, suddenly curious in my past.
“I’m from a small town.”
“Which one?”
“You know, I honestly have no idea,” I shrugged and paced around the cage.
“That’s um…interesting. What were your parents like?”
“My dad was a retard and my mother was a wonderful she-cat.”
“Nice,” she giggled. “Any siblings?”
“A stuck-up-brat-of-a-sister.”
“Sweet!” She smiled. “I didn’t have any parents.”
“I’m sorry,” I mewed sympathetically.
“Don’t be, they weren’t cool enough for me. That’s why they left.”
“S-“ I stopped myself, “Cool.”
“I know.” She smiled, showing her sharp teeth.

We stayed in the pound for two days. We talked for hours on end. We found out everything about each other. She told me I was the bravest tom she’d ever met, I recoiled that with, “Yeah, but I should have done that earlier.” She said back, “But you weren’t ready.” I smiled.
“I was always ready. I just wasn’t brave enough.”
“Ash,” she laughed once, “You weren’t old enough, let’s put it that way, shall we?”
“Yeah, that works…” my voice faded as I thought about Winter.

I heard the door open and I turned my eyes to it. I saw a man walk in. He looked ever-so familiar. “Listen, Heather, if I get adopted today, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” The man walked by my pen and stopped and looked at me. I looked into his eyes.
“You too,” She mewed, licking my forehead in a friendly way. The man picked me up.
“Alvin, is it really you?” He said, I mewed softly. “IT IS!” He shouted a triumphant laugh.
“Ash, you psychic tom, you!” Heather called to me.
I laughed, “I just had a feeling. He’s easy to get away from.” She laughed too.
“I wish I could come with you, Ash Firestar!” She mewed sadly.
“You know I wish so as well.”
“Yeah. I guess we all have a destiny, eh?”
“Aye, that we do.”
I frowned, she was going to die. That was her last day there...

A small tear strayed down his cheek, but Ash quickly wiped it away before Stellar had a chance of seeing it. Ash glared hard at Stellar, "I don't know if Indigo wants to talk to you, because aparently you said some things too and she didn't like them!" He hissed back. He frowned, "Sorry, I went off. I'm upset from a few flashbacks..." He looked down, biting his lip.

[Stellar Snowpaw]

Stellar watched as disbelief blew over the silver tom's face. There was no fight. The worse thing that had happened that night was when they mated, and that was bittersweet. Ash didn't seem to believe Stellar, didn't seem to think what he was saying was true. But it was. Nothing but a small-talk conversation and mating had happened.. But it wasn't small-talk. It was a heart-felt, every word that Stellar had said. If Stellar could say every word that was said that night, show every touch, would Ash see that Stellar loved Indigo more than words could explain? Or would it make things worse, for Indigo, and Stellar?

Indigo and I haven't really...talked..."

[/i] The word Indigo with anyone else using the word "I"... It made Stellar's stomach boil... How had it all changed so fast? So qickly? It was like, one second Stellar and Indigo, and the next, Ash and Indigo. It made Stellar's head spin. How could anything change so quickly? It was as if Stellar had fast-fowarded about two thousand years or something, and disappeared in the process. But he hadn't... He never had. But now she was gone. Why did he have to keep on telling himself that? Was once not good enough? Did he have to bring himself lower? Why didn't he just bury himself or something? He wouldn't have to wory about anything anymore.

"Stellar, I realize now what she did to you. But, once you have walked in my paws...you don't know pain like I do!"[/i] Pain. Ash had no idea what pain was. He could say that word all he wanted, say that was how he felt, but it wasn't. He hadn't loved someone, then had them leave, then come back, only for them to leave them again... To tear them apart. Stellar shook his head slowly. "Pain is just like beauty. It's in the eye of the beholder, I guess." He spoke totally opposite of the way he felt. He felt like roaring at Ash. Tell him that he was stupid to call his situation pain. But he didn't.

There was an odd, long silence. Silences like this brough Stellar to think of that night...

No matter what Indigo said, Stellar would not be convinced. This was his fault. How could it not? He had given in to the temptation, and now, he was being told it wasn't his fault? So, what, then, if Stellar jumped of a cliff because he couldn't have Indigo for a mate, it wasn't his fault for dying?

Stellar settled when Indigo grinned, but then he hear Indigo speak again. If she loved Ash so much, then why was she here? Why had she let Stellar mate with her?

"A much deeper level, eh? I guess when you leave someone then tell them to mate with them makes you a love guru, then. What is wrong with you Indigo? You tell me you love me and then you get like this? I hope Ash has a great time with you. Enjoy your kits!"

Stellar got up, and walked away, not looking back at Indigo. Stellar didn't want to do this, but this would give him something to remember whenever he started worrying about Indigo. Something to tell him never to go back to her. Something to make him...

How was he doing this? Leaving her? He knew how. She wanted him to leave. She didn't love him. She had used him. She had told him she loved him and then ripped him up into millions of peices and thrown them up into the wind. Now he was scattered, with no one to pick him up and put him together again. He was alone, never to see Indigo again. And now Ash would be happy. Stellar hissed at the thought of that tom.

"'And we'll love each other for the rest of forever,'" Stellar said in a mocking voice. "Make sure you love him, Indigo. Because I won't be here to love if you ever want to come back."

Inside, even though he said that, Stellar was falling apart. He felt like laying down in a heap of garbage and just letting the flies eat him. He kicked a soup can with his brown paw and trudged off.

Would he ever love again? Was what Ash said true? Was there someone out there for him, better than Indigo?

Stellar hissed. How could he think such a thing?

"I don't know if Indigo wants to talk to you, because aparently you said some things too and she didn't like them!"

"Do you even know what happened there, Ash?! No! You were doing who knows what while your "mate" was off with another tom mating with him. How does that make you feel?! You say pain, but how do you think I feel?! If I said ANYTHING to make her hate me, she ahd to say something in the first place because I will ALWAYS LOVE HER. Nothing she can say can stop that, and nothing you can either. Maybe I got angry, but I think you would too! I was completely happy until "prince charming" came along."

OOC: ha. posting with stellar is like anger management. x333 feel free to make ash lash out, too. x33 anger makes me type more.;;

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